Carbo Craze

I've always had an unhealthy infatuation with all things potatoes ever since my childhood. Especially with Calbee potato chips! It's cheap, crisp and flavorful.

On occassion, I ddo treat myself to deli style chips like Red Rock Deli or Kettle chips but Calbee just knocks the competitor's socks with it's rocking level of comfort. I can go on and on about my love affair with Calbee!

And guess what, Watson's has brought in the same flavor and packaging of Calbee potato chips from my childhood!!! No, I'm not talking about expired food or miniature display items.

It's the Hong Kong version of Calbee's famed 'Hot & Spicy' and 'BBQ' flavors! I remember munching on the same packs of chips at the playground, where I would so stupidly bury my coins in the sandpit for 'safekeeping'. Of course, I never saw my money again but my pea brain would not comprehend that fact. Fortunately for me, there are other wildly stupid children in my neighbourhood so once in a while, I would chance upon somebody else's loot. Harhar.

Our local version just doesn't do justice to the original BBQ flavor. Bursting with a savoury meaty taste with a tinge of tartness! I LOVE IT...!! I almost slipped into depression when the local version decided to 'revamp' the original flavor. Cause our current flavor SUCKS!

However, our local hot & spicy is superb! It's spicier and loaded with hair dropping MSG, salt and flavor.

Just the way I like it...

Together with my obsession with fat canned Pringles, it's obvious this new year is really beginning to heat up, real good. And just so you should know, the thin canned Pringles taste like shit.

I'm a fat canned girl.

And if you don't know what I'm rambling about, you will never begin to understand my obsessive complusion.

And here's a peek at my scheduler for 2012... The first few months are already chock full of entries :D

Digital Phobia

I consider it a compliment when someone tells me that I look “young”. This word, I use unadulterated from the horse’s mouth.

But it gets really tiring and lame when they say it with so much shock and do a massive up-down eyeball, complete with a gaping mouth. I mean, I don’t look much younger then my actual age. I look like an adult.

And I possess the vision to see that your reaction is clearly not in proportion to the situation.

It’s as if I have a third breast hanging out of my nose, nipples for eyes and perhaps you might like to throw in 2 vaginas coiled around my neck.

You so old meh?!! Cannot tell leh…!! I thought you same age as me one lor!!

Yawns.

Tell me something new.

What’s the big deal if I happen to look young? How does my appearance affect your life? Does my age make me less likely to be your friend?

I’m really curious to know how people expect me to dress. They still laugh when I wear berms. I mean, am I supposed to wear mid calf white panty hose or some frumpy dress?

Really wanna laugh.

Age, is just a digit to state the length of time you’ve spent out from your mother’s womb. In no way does it reflect your worth, honor, intellect or the impact that you have made in this lifetime.

If you feel that only mixing with people of similar ages can foster meaningful relationships, than I’m afraid you are missing out on a whole load of possibilities. Because each person has every opportunity to impart something special into your life.

And like my taste in music, I like the variations in my list of friends.

Another A7X Swoonfest

I really love Avenged Sevenfold. Really, Really Love them. Really.

You get my drift. I so freaking want to get an A7X tattoo...!!! Any sponsors?!

Goodness. I can drown in my own saliva. And now you can sing along!! =D

Another year goes by

In just under 3 weeks, we’ll have to sing a swansong to the year 2011. Which incidentally, has been quite an exhilarating heck-of-a-roller-coaster ride.

This time round, the highlight of my year must have been my tandem skydive in the Arizona dessert, amidst the haunting sandy shades of brown in Vegas with Ching and Sumi. Even stranger is how a single impromptu trip morphed into such a spontaneous and daring adventure that cemented our bonds.

I love my girls.

And this ward, this irritating yet alluring place that saw me slog my guts out seems to have somehow shifted to provide me a sense of serenity I can’t explain no matter how hard I try to express in words. The all too familiar shit we have to grit our teeth to endure and the darling staff that come so readily forward to buffer the extreme conditions we face everyday is perhaps best described as a cancer that grows on you.

And 2011 couldn’t have been a better year for Fluffy and Sharon Lee. With major milestones in their lives now set in motion, I’m wishing them the best in the upcoming year.
My beloved.

And to Ross, the new year will mark a closure in his contract which will hopefully see him beef up his pirates-of-the-Caribbean loot.

I’m really at my happiest. Ever.

Though perhaps just another Prada Bauletto would be just fine. Harhar.

So I’m going to clink those glasses (of sparkling juices), kick back and simply relish the ride towards 2012.
Here’s to 2011.






Dinner & Dance

I had a field day watching a salesgirl in Malaysia karaoke-ing to this song when she thought nobody was watching her. Totally loved her lip synching, neck thrusts and diva fingers rolls. Wahahaha...! Yes, I was STALKING exhibiting seletive voyuerism. That aside, I love Avril!

I HEART A7X

It's really easy to love these...


Avenged Sevenfold - So Far Away

and the light you left remains
but its so hard to stay
when i have so much to say
and you're so far away

RIP Jimmy



Avenged Sevenfold - Afterlife

I dont belong here
gotta move on here
escape from this afterlife

Cherlosophy's Playlist -
From one of the greatest bands of all time... introducing... drum roll please!

T-R-A-I-N...!!




A hauntingly beautiful song made even more wonderful with this acoustic version


A fabulous song!

Cookie Monster

I'm stuck in a "cookie obsession" with Fox's dark chocolate cookies. They are TO DIE FOR.

I'm salivating just looking at the pictures!

These delightful large chewy morsels come chock full of dark choc chunks that bring me to my knees. An insane orgasm explodes in your mouth after you start the first bite. As the cookie dough crumbles within your mouth, the heat melts the choc chunks that turn into a tsunami of dense bitter sweet choc!!!

Food Porn!

These sinfully addictive bites of heaven are available at most supermarkets like Cold Storage, 7-11, Giant, NTUC, Sheng Shiong etc. You'd probably get a better deal buying them from Sheng Shiong for under $5. They have a few other variants which I tried but non could compare to this.

A note to ponder upon though, just don't bother looking at the nutritional label. Things that taste this good can't possibly be good for that blardy waistline.

But you can bet your bottom dollar that they'll more then lift my saggy spirits ANY given day!!!

Ross Can Cook

If you're wondering why I appear to be so bloated these days, it's largely due to Ross OVER feeding me. He whips up such a storm, all resistance is futile.
Wails.

I'll let the pics do the talking!

Fried Rice

Seafood Char Kuay Teow

Stir Fried Beef

Spicy Scallops with Prawns

Fried Macaroni

Char Kuay Teow again!

Even Fluffy caught the cooking bug and made me this sandwich =)

Westlife - Safe

I know the people my age (all) love Westlife! Those days saw us belting out hit after hit of Westlife's karaoke friendly tunes. Those were the days where I would have gladly thrown my bra on stage at any given Westlife concert!

Harharhar.

Well, though the white hairs have sprouted and wrinkles sorely etched onto skin, I feel like a teenager again with Westlife's new single.





Hard to find a way to get through
It's a tragedy
Pulling at me like the stars do
You're like gravity
Even if the wind blows
It makes it hard to believe

How ya gonna love
How ya gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real
And If you lost your way
I will keep you safe
We'll open up all the world inside
I see it come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

Doesn't even matter to you
To see what I can see
I'm crawling on the floor to reach you
I'm a wreck you see
When you're far from home now
Makes it hard to believe

So how ya gonna love
How ya gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real

If you've lost your way
I will keep you safe
Well open up all your world inside
Til you come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

We all fall down
We all feel down
Cos rainy days and summer highs
The more we pray the more we feel alive

How ya gonna love
How ya gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real
How ya gonna love
How ya gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real

If you've lost your way
I will keep you safe
Well open up all your world inside
So you come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

Well I will keep you safe
I will keep you safe

Rihanna - Cry

I love Rihanna's ballads because they have this uncanny knack of putting those tear ducts into overdrive.




I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye

Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole 'in love' thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round
And deep inside my tears I'll drown
I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?
I strayed from love, this is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more

I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round
And deep inside my tears I'll drown
I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?
I strayed from love, this is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you? I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do, stay away from lovin' you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show, you won't see me cry

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
(You'll never see me cry)

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
On my life


I just LOVE Rihanna!!!

Bad Habits Die Hard

How apt it is when the gossip mongers cluck their tongues in unison to slither the words “a leopard never changes its spots”...

My body tingles with an irrepressible urge. My mouth dries out.

And I brush my fingers nervously across my lips, only to feel the cracks upon.

On the bed, I can’t help but twist and turn. My heart races. My lungs on fire.

I bite my tongue and pace around. My mind, already beyond space. Logic escapes.

I try to busy myself. To detach my thoughts from the desire to be with you. With you.

I can no longer breathe. No longer think. Too lost in you.

Just you.




Steadily, will power dissolves into the night air. My feet, possessed. My mind, hypnotized.

In a waking moment, I find myself gazing across the counter. My finger points to you.

Crisp notes slip from my hands.

The transaction completed.

A click, then a swoosh. And a flicker of orange dances.
I pull you to my lips. My anxiety vanishes. My head starts to spin.

Drawing a deep breath, rainbows appear.
My world, suddenly spectacular again.


My beloved Texas Five.

Stop And Smell The Roses

Meet Rose, the newest citizen of my cupboard. Hohoho...

This bag is made from smooshy, buttery soft nappa leather in an understated black which smells just divine! I can't stop myself from running my hands up and down the bag. Hardware and the infamous lettering logo comes in shiny gold. Swoon. The rose accents are also made from nappa, which has been lovingly coiled and sewn onto the front of the bag, together with a single leaf for added drama. Salivates.

It comes in a variety of colors (purple, fuschia etc) but I settled for the evergreen black.

This bag converts into a hand carry that looks great as an evening bag with its sturdy double rolled handles. Alternatively, snap on the attached sling and it transforms into a casual crossbody bag that still maintains an air of formality. A true statement piece!

I love it to bits!

Sent

Life weaves in people to enrich our experiences. Some characters pique interest through their flamboyant antics, some bring utmost joy, while others bring lessons of an ache that words can ever translate.

A lesson nonetheless.

We all harbor secret letters in our hearts that we lack the courage to send. A piece that documents the sorrow, the pain, the anguish of it all. Either it’s because I’ve come to believe that words are better left unsaid in my own cowardice ways; or simply because maybe, just maybe, it’s better for the people involved to let go.

Reasoning fails me here, so I'm refusing to die with the regret of not sending mine out.

So here's mine.

No expectations, no regret.

One of my very most fave songs of all time given a fantastic twist by the extremely talented Jason Mraz =)

Some day we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers
and me

Dear Jim Henson would have been so proud if he was still alive to hear this rendition. But good news for all Muppet fans..!! There will be another Muppet movie scheduled for release this year...!! YAAAYYYYY.... I'm so excited...!!

Check it out!

Now I just have to beg Sharon Lee to help me source for Waldorf and Statler dolls =)




I'll leave you with a supercalifragalisticexpialidosious cover of the legendary Bohemian Rhapsody by none other then the hodge podge of Muppets.

It's mayhem!!

Zero Hero

Some days are particularly rough. This was one of those days. With the incessant ranting of demented patients, non stop call bells and visitors that demand updates, it is days like these that cause the frustration factor to tip beyond boiling point.

I almost lost it with a patient. Her repeatedly unreasonable, attention seeking advances were simply too much to bear. It was an extreme feat to hold back my anger and I really had to have someone else take over. I was given the green light to restrain her but there wasn’t a need. It was just her blardy mouth that could not stop screaming. Other patients added to the drama by complaining and quarreling with her, making the ward sound worse then a fish market. One patient in the opposite room even threatened to pour water on her again. Yes, might i stress - AGAIN. It was THAT bad.

But anger is something that doesn’t go away despite you losing it.

And yet, at the end of my shitty shift, my loving colleagues handed me birthday gifts that they had put together secretly.

Tears.

It's not about the gifts. Though I'd like to add that the presents are damn cool. It's the love behind the deed that really warms me. I didn't even get them anything for their birthdays. Whacks head.

Good Lord, how do I leave them now?

You see, I had handed in my request to transfer to another department because I feel really stressed posted here. It’s so bad that I’ve even been in tears when trodden with the massive shit load of non stop work and non gratitude from the very patients I serve. To have a visitors eyeball me with suspicion or contempt hurts really bad.

They don't acknowledge the fact that I have to stay back beyond normal working hours to settle the outstanding orders and countless other side duties that management has decided should be distributed amongst staff.

Who bears witness to the battles that occur with every minute at work?

I understand that the cumulative stressors from disease and psychosocial factors add to both the patient and visitor’s anxiety but to have them lash out on me is something I still find very hard to stomach.

Especially when I give each patient my utmost each and every day.

I bathe you.
Feed you.
Comb your hair.
Change your diapers.
Ensure you take your medication even though you spit at me.
I still have to take your bloods despite you scratching me because the Doctors need to review your blood levels.

I carry out the neccessary evils brought about by modern medicine not because I want to hurt you, but because I want to help you get better.

Who else will do it if I don’t?

I take care of you even though you and your visitor complain and nitpick.
I may not carry a huge grin every single minute because some days suck bad.
But I always try to smile when I catch your gaze.

I work even when I'm sick.
I'm at work even when I have my own pressing family issues.

I’m human. And like you, I’m not perfect.

I really think being a nurse in Singapore is really difficult. But working in this ward is absolutely crazy shit psychotic on some days. I’d return my 2nd Service medal in a blink if I could moderate the level of nonsense I’m put through.

I’m praying for strength and thanking God. He’s put mighty warriors in this battle beside me. And for that, I should be grateful. I love my colleagues! Without them, I would die. Or probably (insert most evil suggestion here).

But I too would like some peace and worklife balance.

The Queen of Spades

I was desperately sourcing for a bag organizer for quite some time before I got my grubby little fingers on this cheery, nautical baby with irregular red and cream stripes from Kate Spade. What got me smitten was actually the service tag, which reads 'have courage'. It's something I hold close to my heart...

Best of all, it's free! Weeeeeeeeeee......!!

This is supposed to be a large cosmetic pouch but I figured it would do nicely as my bag organizer because I seriously misplace my things whenever I change my bags!

It comes in 2 sizes, with this being the larger. Being greedy, I decided upon this since it could fit nicely into most of my bags. Though after a while, I realized that it's actually quite bulky so I'm using this as an underwear bag when I travel. Hahaha..

So, it's back to sourcing for my bag organizer and losing my stuff all over again!

My Best Friend-in-Law

I cried my eyeballs out receiving Sharon Lee’s email. It, most fortunately, carried one of the best, best, berry best news this entire year. And what flowed from these coin slot eyes were a river of happiness.

Bliss.

Nestled within the email was news of her ROM along with pictures of the happy couple surrounded by their friends. Though I wasn’t able to attend their ROM ceremony per say; I was, well almost with her most step of the way.

I wept like a mother giving away her daughter. Blardy Hell.

We had shared the moment of when and how Berj proposed, the RING (yes, the one ring to rule them all) and thankfully she was kind enough to censor out the moments thereafter.

Studying the pictures like a PhD student, I soaked in the blissful couple’s happiness captured on celluloid. With the wind in her tousled hair, her (very slutty) little navy dress and a shower of baby blue geraniums, she took my breath away.

Doesn’t time fly?

Once upon a time, like a child hankering after a parent’s love, I was initially quite resistant towards Sharon Lee’s romance. A part of me was happy for her to start a new relationship given her slew of ang moh’s in a foreign land. Yet, there was another part of me that felt threatened by this intrusion into our life that could possibly rob me of her attention. Childish and defensive me got even more riled up when I first met Berj because he called her fat.

I so wanted to punch his face.

But time wore on and bore witness to his steadfast love towards my best friend. I saw how hard he fought to be with her. She loved him, but nothing can take away the memories that we have forged. Together. And I too, softened to accept this man that would be lovingly holding her hands in times of need. He’s proven that he's able to see her through tough times and as a result, they’ve come out stronger as a couple.

Heck, even Ross acknowledges the fact that we are both extremely hard headed women whom are a challenge to live with.

Ross, watch your mouth ah..

So I’m no longer the jealous brat of yesteryear. I’m going to love Berj because he’s my best friend-in-law. And come December, I’ll have a chance to ridicule him! It’s something I can’t wait!! Hohoho..

Faded Glory

I’ve survived more then a year in my current posting of a shit-hole disguised as a ward. Can you believe it’s been a whole year? Now, it’s only another three (blardy long and painful) years before I can march into the DN’s office and throw my resignation letter on her desk.

That is, if I ever wanted to.
I would be able to yield THAT power in MY hands.
-insert deep throat evil laughter-

Alas, that is still a distant dream and for now, I can only bow my head in unbridled slavery before such a day blooms with the power of emancipation.

Reality sucks doesn’t it?

I’m not here to complain about the banalities of the job. I think the web is already oversaturated with that. Rather, I’m here trying to convince myself there has to be more to life then this. To be fair, this ward has been a Petri dish of opportunities that has allowed me to garner some accolades alongside its fair share of knowledge. Through the daily battles in the ward, I’ve experienced peaks that raise the bar through unparalleled camaraderie; yet concurrently made to endure dips that threaten to shove me out of nursing for good.

There are days when I feel so sick of it all; I give off sparks at the slightest provocation. Crash. Boom. Bang. Other times, I find myself voluntarily swallowing shit by the bucket loads.

And a quietly simmering ache that questions the need to face each day like this overflows.

Pragmatic me reasons that I need the job.
Altruistic me preaches on the opportunity to serve others.
Needy me revels in the sense of satisfaction that pours forth with reciprocated gratitude.

And yet the inner sadist just wants to slap all the fuckers till their cheeks explode. And maybe grab a spoon to dig out all the eyeballs of the bastards that roll their eyes so often.

I think I’ve come to the realization that although the world can think you work with passion and all that bullshit, you may one day wake to find that the work no longer unlocks joy.

Like a misplaced piece in an otherwise completed jigsaw puzzle.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll have the courage to walk away from it all.