Zero Hero
Some days are particularly rough. This was one of those days. With the incessant ranting of demented patients, non stop call bells and visitors that demand updates, it is days like these that cause the frustration factor to tip beyond boiling point.
I almost lost it with a patient. Her repeatedly unreasonable, attention seeking advances were simply too much to bear. It was an extreme feat to hold back my anger and I really had to have someone else take over. I was given the green light to restrain her but there wasn’t a need. It was just her blardy mouth that could not stop screaming. Other patients added to the drama by complaining and quarreling with her, making the ward sound worse then a fish market. One patient in the opposite room even threatened to pour water on her again. Yes, might i stress - AGAIN. It was THAT bad.
But anger is something that doesn’t go away despite you losing it.
And yet, at the end of my shitty shift, my loving colleagues handed me birthday gifts that they had put together secretly.
Tears.
It's not about the gifts. Though I'd like to add that the presents are damn cool. It's the love behind the deed that really warms me. I didn't even get them anything for their birthdays. Whacks head.
Some days are particularly rough. This was one of those days. With the incessant ranting of demented patients, non stop call bells and visitors that demand updates, it is days like these that cause the frustration factor to tip beyond boiling point.
I almost lost it with a patient. Her repeatedly unreasonable, attention seeking advances were simply too much to bear. It was an extreme feat to hold back my anger and I really had to have someone else take over. I was given the green light to restrain her but there wasn’t a need. It was just her blardy mouth that could not stop screaming. Other patients added to the drama by complaining and quarreling with her, making the ward sound worse then a fish market. One patient in the opposite room even threatened to pour water on her again. Yes, might i stress - AGAIN. It was THAT bad.
But anger is something that doesn’t go away despite you losing it.
And yet, at the end of my shitty shift, my loving colleagues handed me birthday gifts that they had put together secretly.
Tears.
It's not about the gifts. Though I'd like to add that the presents are damn cool. It's the love behind the deed that really warms me. I didn't even get them anything for their birthdays. Whacks head.
Good Lord, how do I leave them now?
You see, I had handed in my request to transfer to another department because I feel really stressed posted here. It’s so bad that I’ve even been in tears when trodden with the massive shit load of non stop work and non gratitude from the very patients I serve. To have a visitors eyeball me with suspicion or contempt hurts really bad.
They don't acknowledge the fact that I have to stay back beyond normal working hours to settle the outstanding orders and countless other side duties that management has decided should be distributed amongst staff.
You see, I had handed in my request to transfer to another department because I feel really stressed posted here. It’s so bad that I’ve even been in tears when trodden with the massive shit load of non stop work and non gratitude from the very patients I serve. To have a visitors eyeball me with suspicion or contempt hurts really bad.
They don't acknowledge the fact that I have to stay back beyond normal working hours to settle the outstanding orders and countless other side duties that management has decided should be distributed amongst staff.
Who bears witness to the battles that occur with every minute at work?
I understand that the cumulative stressors from disease and psychosocial factors add to both the patient and visitor’s anxiety but to have them lash out on me is something I still find very hard to stomach.
Especially when I give each patient my utmost each and every day.
I bathe you.
Feed you.
Comb your hair.
Change your diapers.
Ensure you take your medication even though you spit at me.
I still have to take your bloods despite you scratching me because the Doctors need to review your blood levels.
I carry out the neccessary evils brought about by modern medicine not because I want to hurt you, but because I want to help you get better.
Who else will do it if I don’t?
I take care of you even though you and your visitor complain and nitpick.
I may not carry a huge grin every single minute because some days suck bad.
But I always try to smile when I catch your gaze.
I work even when I'm sick.
I'm at work even when I have my own pressing family issues.
I’m human. And like you, I’m not perfect.
I really think being a nurse in Singapore is really difficult. But working in this ward is absolutely crazy shit psychotic on some days. I’d return my 2nd Service medal in a blink if I could moderate the level of nonsense I’m put through.
I’m praying for strength and thanking God. He’s put mighty warriors in this battle beside me. And for that, I should be grateful. I love my colleagues! Without them, I would die. Or probably (insert most evil suggestion here).
But I too would like some peace and worklife balance.
I understand that the cumulative stressors from disease and psychosocial factors add to both the patient and visitor’s anxiety but to have them lash out on me is something I still find very hard to stomach.
Especially when I give each patient my utmost each and every day.
I bathe you.
Feed you.
Comb your hair.
Change your diapers.
Ensure you take your medication even though you spit at me.
I still have to take your bloods despite you scratching me because the Doctors need to review your blood levels.
I carry out the neccessary evils brought about by modern medicine not because I want to hurt you, but because I want to help you get better.
Who else will do it if I don’t?
I take care of you even though you and your visitor complain and nitpick.
I may not carry a huge grin every single minute because some days suck bad.
But I always try to smile when I catch your gaze.
I work even when I'm sick.
I'm at work even when I have my own pressing family issues.
I’m human. And like you, I’m not perfect.
I really think being a nurse in Singapore is really difficult. But working in this ward is absolutely crazy shit psychotic on some days. I’d return my 2nd Service medal in a blink if I could moderate the level of nonsense I’m put through.
I’m praying for strength and thanking God. He’s put mighty warriors in this battle beside me. And for that, I should be grateful. I love my colleagues! Without them, I would die. Or probably (insert most evil suggestion here).
But I too would like some peace and worklife balance.
