Teachers' Day is just some hours away.

And it's time to remind ourselves to pay gratitude to the people that have taken the time and effort, with buckets full of patience, in imparting their knowledge.

Teaching is a truely noble profession (however nursing still wins by a landslide.. wahaha), involving lots of background sacrifices. The way i see it, everyone can be a teacher. All you need are the entry requisites. But not everyone can actually teach.

That takes someone special.

Did i confuse you? It's actually very simple. Allow me to explain. Basically, it takes only paper qualifications to get a teaching post. Just some prior working experience in a related field and a degree = hey presto, you've got the job.

One can memorize textbook based methods of teaching, setting exam questions and what-have-yous, though i dare say : that doesn't make you teacher, much less a good one. Bear in mind that the students of today are unlike those of yesteryears. With the prevalence of technology, you can rest assured that the hardworking students will check up on what is being said in the classroom via the internet. And the ones being discriminated, well, will be waiting to pounce on the irritating-specimen-of-a-teacher with a camera phone. And parents, well, they're a whole cateory by themselves.

Teaching is highly complex. Involving not just an academic aspect, but also an emotional and moral obligation. Teachers of today pass on survival skills to the nation of tomorrow.

This what why i was sorely disappointed when Joey voiced wanting to be a Professor. It gave me the impression that he was more interested in attaining a title. A shallow status symbol. And sadly, to teach without passion wastes not only to time of the students, but also that of the teacher. (however, i will ask him for clarification the next time i see him, or perhaps i have misunderstood him- but that's another story ya?)

Teaching is a priviledge.

Many of us have encountered many different types of teachers in our school years. Chances are, the better a relationship fostered with your teachers, they longer you would have been educated.

I believe the quality of students reflect strongly on the quality of teacher. A teacher that never gives up on her students, goes to great lengths to research different methods towards teaching styles, possesses patience and forgiveness is truly a rare gem.

I was fortunate to meet these gems during my stint at ITE. I spent 2 wonderfully blissful years there. My teachers devised innovative teaching mehods which incorporated singing, dancing, role play and various other aids (use of clay, bringing real animal meat/bones etc). More importantly, they built soild teacher-student relationships. They addressed us by name, helped families in silence, and disciplined when neccessary. You can really feel the passion they harboured. They celebrated the end of every industrial attachment, awakening a sense of pride and confidence, previously forgotten.

Which lecturer in NYP will stay back til 9pm to individually assess students before a phase test? Perhaps it's the lack of staff. Perhaps it's the heavy workload. Perhaps these are all mere excuses. They call themselves "Lecturers" - again, title based roles. Lecturers that more or less want their own way. Lecturers that are unsure of what the hell they are doing. Lecturers that abuse their authority. Lecturers that churn lectures with an unhealthy dose of sleeping gas.

Although i'll give NYP a little leeway. There are a few gems hidden within too. Some take great pains to help the students.

Unlike my secondary school. Terrible. I swear, they must have been the devil in disguise.

I have the worst case of Time Managementless-litis.

To make matters worse, mine is chronic with acute flare ups.

The signs and symptoms include:

1. Denial
2. Excessive sleeping or lazing in bed
3. Overeating
4. Daydreaming/Hallucinations & Delusions
5. Selective Amnesia

To date, most remedies had proven futile.

Help me get out of this rut. I've no mood to work. No mood for school. No mood for most things. Most of the time, i just want to plop in front of the pc and watch my download speed.

Basically just wasting whatever precious time i have.

Ok, now i have to go eat my 3rd tub of ice cream =)
rocky road please.......

A prayer for you Daddy..

I miss my Dad.

And at times like these, i can only fall back on memories that i have kept within. I do have my moments of somber silence. Contrary to popular belief, i'm not loony 24/7.

As time continues to pass, it forgot to ease all the hurt i harbour, holding onto only the fact that his prayers have been heard - and i am not alone.

I'll walk my journey.

Cause i know at the end, he'll be there with out stretched arms and a wide grin.

Moonie writes of what her 5 Cs would include, and as a continuation, i'd like to list mine too.

We're such blog stalkers lah ...

My list is as follows :

1. Comfort
Nope, not the cab company. Just a level of biopsychosocial comfort.
Enough to eat.
Good health.
Great family & friends.

2. 3. 4. 5. - see 1.

So you can see, i don't ask for very much. Hahaahaa...

I want to die with as little regrets as possible. To be as happy as i possibly can. To go as far as i possibly can.

Though Fara and Suli often lament that i will grow up to be a ciggie smoking, umbrella poking, old lady in brightly coloured clothes. So much for my penchant for loud clothing. And oh yeah, swearing my head off in the wards.

Chee bye lah missy, my water where?!
-Lifts umbrella to poke nurse in eye-

Turns to neighbouring bed,
Nabeh, you damn noisy man. Can shut up or not?!
-Lifts umbrella to poke neighbour-

To visitor, Joey
Your wife die already or not?
-Lifts umbrella, but just winks-

Good grief. I hope JP never reads this. I wouldn't know where to hide my face. Hohoho

I just got wind that another instructor will be taking over our debate meeting tomorrow - (Fara-magnet) Jose.

Our Joey, apparently has other agendas.

I'm a little apprehensive of the change. For one thing, i am a creature of habit. Or at least, i like to think that there is security in familarity. The truth is, i'm afraid.

Joey has already seen me (i suppose) at my dense-est. I will be forced to slit my wrists should there be another person that makes me feel as stupid.

Not that Joey does that on purpose. I don't think that even crosses his mind. That politically correct ang moh potato. Well, it's hard to not to feel dumb when i constantly have to ask him to explain the words that i don't understand.

My skin has grown thick enough with Joey, whereas with Jose, well, his bald head and large eyes are well.... very distracting.

The Mis-Adventures Of Kanina The Clown

Once upon a time, Kanina the Clown decided to go fishing. Packing up her belongings - yes, all 600 kilos of super cheap make-up, she headed down to the lakeside for a day of fun.

Once there, she unloaded of make-up and built a temporary hut to shield herself from the harsh sunlight. She pried open the stacks of compact powder, the tins of eye shadow and the bucket loads of lipstick.

She made herself comfortable and sat her big fat ass down.

"I must catch some fish today"

Minutes passed. Minutes turned into hours. But still no sign of any fish.

Cursing under her stinky as hell breath, she checked the bait at the end of the fishing line.

"Nabeh. Still there mah. Why no fish??! In my 15 (emphasizes repeatedly on this) yrs of ......."

Stinking from all the sweat she produced under the blistering heat, she decided to strip down and wash her panties in the lake.

"Since i'm here, i'll be my typical kiasu and kiam siap (read : cheapskate) self and help myself to the free water. In my 15 yrs ............"

As the panties touched the water, it began to churn bubbles. Big horrid ones. The greenish discharges on the panties slid evil-ly into the lake.

Bubbling away like mentos with diet cola.

The ecolife never knew what hit them.

In an instant, the lake was filled with animals - all gone belly up. Some shellfish managed to claw their way out of the water, but their joy was short lived. Having been contaminated by the foul green acid, their shells started to corrode and eat into their flesh.

Bubble. Bubble. Bubble.

The stench flooded the surrounding greenery, forcing many wildlife to flee for their poor life. Alas, most did not survive. Those that did, mutated into hideous forms from the aftermath of the DNA altering foul smell and contaminated water.

Breaking into a sly smile (which coincidentally cracked the thick make-up on her irritatingly ugly face), Kanina the Clown merrily scooped up her fish and what-nots.

"What a great catch! I should have done this earlier!"

*******************************

The next day - headlines blare over the front page :

WORST CASE OF NUCLEAR WASTE LEAKAGE DISCOVERED AT LAKE! ECO SYSTEM SEVERELY DAMAGED.

*******************************

Moral of the story -
1. Wash your panties everyday
2. Be bitchy - get a story =)

I have a classmate that is choosing to distance away herself from us. I'm unsure of when it actually started. Or maybe, our patience just wore off.

There was an incident that happened the other day, involving Chicken and Fara. They were lost in the topic of bras and breasts. Happily comparing whatever (imaginary) bumps they possessed anteriorly. Haha.. ok lah, you all both very busty lah! And this particular classmate, (i can't ascertain if she was aware of the topic or not) just froze and started staring at Chicken's tau hu.

Like, heeeeeeeeeeeeello... what the hell are you staring at??

Chicken felt so massively violated. And who wouldn't? If she had been staring at my tits, i would have freaked out too. But then again, my boobies are pathetic - like singapore on the world map. Haha...

And Moonie, if you happen to read this, wipe that snigger of your face. You think your's very big meh?? Wahahhahaa....

I had the strangest of train rides today.

A person, whom i held in such lofty esteem, was suddenly shattered to such meager-ness. Like a roman figure made of stone and placed on a pedestal, it came a crumbling. I don't think i can name this person, as there are people out there that actually read my blog.

Yes, that in itself is a nauseating thought. Haha.

This person - let's call him Mr X, asked me the most sensitive of questions. How much i earned, whether i had a boyfriend, when will i get married, whether i planned to have children etc. And yes, that forever-hovering question = how old i am.

Does my age, or rather, calculation of the time i have spent on earth, really define the person i am?

These questions may seem acceptable between close friends, between a parent to a child or even a teacher to her protege. However, this questions were posted to me by an aquaintance. An aquaintance i barely see on a pseudo-regular basis. An aquaintance i know nuts about.

Someone, whom i'd rather have stayed a figment of my hyperactive imagination.

He shared with me some personal insights on the type of life he was striving for. A life maintained by monetary gains and material wealth. At no point did he ever mention he wanted happiness. No family life. No wanting to return to society.

I admire his drive and thank him for his advice, but there was a nagging voice that queried his motives.

"What good is all the wealth in the world when a man loses his soul?"

In an instant, the gilded image i had of him, the halo around his head, the cherubic smile he lazily wears, all seemed to shatter. Into complete oblivion. And the cold jokes, the complex words he uses, the fact that he needs to eat, came to me like a flood.

Fara summed it up all in 1 sentence, "How human is he after all".

I chose the coward's way, obliging politely, answering the questions he posed. It's hard for me not to engage in it all, for the simple fact that there was only the both of us.

Let me explain a little. I'm not ashamed of my age.

Ross says, "age reminds you of the days that God has blessed you with."

But i do feel inadequate when it's brought up by people that are just about a decade younger. There's an invisible benchmark that you're expected to cross by a certain age. Achievements to have safely under your belt. Especially when in an Asian context, where the number game becomes all the more emphasized.

Frankly, it's hard to return to school at my age. Trying to absorb at best i can. Having to juggle my family, part-time work and studies all at the same time. People expect me to know more simply because i am an enrolled nurse. This i call bullshit. ITE trained me to become an enrolled nurse, not a registered nurse.

Sure, i had an advantage in the 1st year. But it sure as hell tapers off as the semesters pass. Not many see the background hard work i put in. The sleepless nights. The stress i face. The smoking marathons while prepping for exams. The fear of non-performance.

There's a lot of catching up to do. Truckloads of expectations to fulfill. Responsibilities to uphold. And at the same time, a dream yet to be realized.

Although i would love to live a fancy life, peppered with cushy material comforts, i'm choosing to stay grounded and live within my means. Carrying the fuzzy burden of chasing time lost, and trying to stamp a positive impact on the people that cross my path. Memories of me, that i hope will live beyond my human years on earth. Lessons that can be learnt a little easier.

There is beauty in simplicity.

Ross puts its simply, in his usual metaphoric way,
"no matter how beautiful a rainbow may seem, at the end of it, lies nothingness. but a man who stays true to who he is, shines like a star."

and i'm trying to be that star

A tear for every dream left behind
A penny for every prayer answered

An out-reached hand for every sadness
An exhuberant cheer for every victory

A shoulder to rest for every heartache
A gentle whisper for every new found love

A mark of ending for every lost friend
A new chapter for every day lived

The world continues to revolve
Alas not just around me

devoting more then just a page to you........

Found : Damn lip smacking good char kuay teow...

Thank gawd for this guy over in old Queenstown Market. It's directly opposit the Queenstown Polyclinic. Follow your nose and the clickity-clang of the spatula hitting the wok. Then search for the stall peppered with awards.

Though the stall is reminiscent of days of yonder (read: old and run down), the reasonably priced plate of drool worthy char kuay teow is worth the long queue! Come early, and expect to queue for at least 20min - no joke.

This guy lovingly cooks every single plate individually.

And the result is a smoky sweetness with tons of eggs, tau geh, garlic ........ and cockles.
Every true char kuay teow lover knows that even if you decide not to eat the cockles, it is a MUST to include it, simply because of the flavour it adds to this luscious dish.

It's best to eat it there and then. FRESH. Refrain from packing. The slippery dark noodles that slither past your taste buds will thank you for it. Your arteries, on the other hand, may think otherwise.

This stall definately has my vote!

Summary --
What : Hai Kee Char Kuay Teow
Where : Old Queenstown Market, 1st Floor (stall faces the church)
How Much : $3/plate
Rating : To DIE For

Take this simple test to find out if you have the potential to be an authentic Asian Slut!

Qn A
Are you Asian or have Asian Parentage?
1. Yes
2. No. Does fucking around with Asians count?

Qn B
Choose the most appropriate wardrobe to suit your everyday needs
1. Slinky camis and lacey tanks
2. I cover myself up most of the time, but i squeeze my breasts with my arms when a cute guy/ang moh/man walks past

Qn C
Complete this sentence. I think porn is:
1. Stimulating
2. No big deal. I prefer the ones i make myself

Qn D
Complete this sentence. I like men that are:
1. Old and rich
2. Dead and rich

Qn E
Choose the most appropriate type of underwear
1. Raunchy ones with lots of lace/leather/feathers
2. I do not own underwear

Qn F
Complete this sentence. Snatching another girl's boyfriend is:
1. Acceptable as long as he loves me
2. Acceptable as long as he is rich

Qn G
Sexual relations are acceptable if:
1. Protection is involved
2. The other half is rich and of western parentage

--- END OF TEST ---

Your score :
Congratulations on completing the abovementioned test. It has in no way benefitted you. However, if you did find that the answers could be applied to you, YOU HAVE THE MAKINGS OF AN ASIAN SLUT.

My advice to all budding Asian Sluts - Stay away from me enough so it does not impact my life negatively, but stay close enough for me to bitch occasionally.

Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser

There goes yet another year.
I’m adding on not only the digits, but the experiences as well.

A year ago today,
I placed money over all.
Sacrificed precious time for work.
Neglected the people who loved me.
Took life for granted.

I ploughed through days with a robotic momentum. Scheduling work whenever I can, clocking approximately 40hrs/week. Then going to school stoned. And sitting for exams exhausted. I used to prioritize work above all. It brought the bread and butter. And I sure as hell needed to eat.

However, as time passed, it became painfully clear. I missed out on family life. I missed out on hanging out with my friends.

Missed out on being happy.

In my work, life and death becomes apparent. Nursing does that to you. All the suffering. All the pain. All the regret of time lost. I’ve nursed multimillionaires, men of stature, people with fame and fortune. But all suddenly fall on level ground when death comes a knocking. No amount of money, no amount of fame can alleviate the pain. It only prolongs the pain.

I like death in that sense, where everyone is placed on equal footing. But I hate the times when I have to say goodbye.

I realized that I too, may disappear at anytime. And if I were to go, would there be questions left answered? Would there be deeds left undone? Would anyone mourn for me?

What would I be remembered for?

I made a vow to myself, to never allow regrets. But along the way, that promise became obscured by petty happenings. Flicking away the dust bunnies (increased age makes me just want to clean), I’m trying to keep that promise alive.

I’m working less, but I’m still able to remain debt free and splurge occasionally.
I’m lucky to have a roof over my head.
I’m grateful for great family – Ross, Rick, Sharon Lee, My bro + Ita =)
I’m thankful for lessons my dad left me.
I’m appreciative for a body that functions.
And I’m pleased for friends that share in weal and woe.

I’ve sent the last year being happy. Appreciating my family a little bit more. Understanding my friends a teeny bit more. Loving myself. A liberating mix of “giving as an adult, and taking as a child” (a lesson I learnt from Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie-I love his stories).

Though I understand that a lot more work needs to be done.

But today, I’m content to sit and reflect, earnestly shaking my huge thighs, reveling
in the solace that life is indeed good.

Blissfully good.