Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser

There goes yet another year.
I’m adding on not only the digits, but the experiences as well.

A year ago today,
I placed money over all.
Sacrificed precious time for work.
Neglected the people who loved me.
Took life for granted.

I ploughed through days with a robotic momentum. Scheduling work whenever I can, clocking approximately 40hrs/week. Then going to school stoned. And sitting for exams exhausted. I used to prioritize work above all. It brought the bread and butter. And I sure as hell needed to eat.

However, as time passed, it became painfully clear. I missed out on family life. I missed out on hanging out with my friends.

Missed out on being happy.

In my work, life and death becomes apparent. Nursing does that to you. All the suffering. All the pain. All the regret of time lost. I’ve nursed multimillionaires, men of stature, people with fame and fortune. But all suddenly fall on level ground when death comes a knocking. No amount of money, no amount of fame can alleviate the pain. It only prolongs the pain.

I like death in that sense, where everyone is placed on equal footing. But I hate the times when I have to say goodbye.

I realized that I too, may disappear at anytime. And if I were to go, would there be questions left answered? Would there be deeds left undone? Would anyone mourn for me?

What would I be remembered for?

I made a vow to myself, to never allow regrets. But along the way, that promise became obscured by petty happenings. Flicking away the dust bunnies (increased age makes me just want to clean), I’m trying to keep that promise alive.

I’m working less, but I’m still able to remain debt free and splurge occasionally.
I’m lucky to have a roof over my head.
I’m grateful for great family – Ross, Rick, Sharon Lee, My bro + Ita =)
I’m thankful for lessons my dad left me.
I’m appreciative for a body that functions.
And I’m pleased for friends that share in weal and woe.

I’ve sent the last year being happy. Appreciating my family a little bit more. Understanding my friends a teeny bit more. Loving myself. A liberating mix of “giving as an adult, and taking as a child” (a lesson I learnt from Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie-I love his stories).

Though I understand that a lot more work needs to be done.

But today, I’m content to sit and reflect, earnestly shaking my huge thighs, reveling
in the solace that life is indeed good.

Blissfully good.