My neighbour is deaf as a physically disabled cow. He blasts the volume on late into the night, thinking the rest of the world requires hearing aids.

Tsk Tsk.

Some people have zero EQ. Some people just don't get it. Not onlythe men...

Case in point :
1. My neighbour
2. Fad - who borrowed my torchlight even though she has her own and refused to share with whoever who needs it more then her
3. Fad - who goes off buying food and drinks for herself
4. Fad - who shuns the toilet when all of us are going but scoots off alone suddenly after we get back
5. Fad - who saves no seats for others, but expects the rest to save one for her
6. Fad - who just stares blankly at her phone but refuses to speak a word to us

I'm banging my head on the wall.

Haiz.. Fad.. Fad... how can i put it to you nicely?
What can i do to make the situation better?
Frankly, we're all pissed at the behaviour.

I guess it's up to me to tell you?

A spritz of your smile

A sprinkle of your jokes

A dash of your wisdom

A shower of your love

A good dose of Sharon Lee just lights up my life =)

I write this with a heavy heart.

With tears, as they silently stream down,
and with an indescribable aching pain.

I lost a friend today,
a friend who always had a big smile for me.

Can you feel me holding your hand?
As i do so everytime you sleep?

Will you remember us watching the world cup matches
in the wee hours in the morning?
Or how i made you lose blackjack to your friends?
Maybe even the smuggled sips of 7-up?

Do you know the amount of sadness i'm feeling now that you're gone?

While others remember you as a great man,
i'll remember you as a dear friend.

Will you ever know you took a little bit of me when you left?

[Always my friend - LKS 1916-2006 ]

UN-hoarding

Its time to make a change. I've been collecting far too much junk over time. They say hoarding is related to a psychological disorder, whereby the person accumulates too much to fill a void in their life.

To date,
I have as many as 250 tees but still nothing to wear.
Approximately 30 bottoms but my butt seems plastered to my levis.
A trunkful of bags, but still i carry the same lame crumpler.
More then 40 pairs of shoes but still my feet wiggle (ever so happily) in the same pair of birkies.
I have books that pile so high, they double up as a wall.
Many left unread, the plastic wrapper intact,
as fresh as the day i bought them.
My school texts, well, they're worse.
Briefly de-virginized then left to rot.

My CDs are shouting to my played.
My DVDs are crying out to be watched.
And my toys, well, they just stare longingly at me as i pass by them everyday.

At this rate, my largest collection will be that of dust and neglect.

Good gawd help me.

It's time to make a change and heave the whole lot out.
Save the shoes, the bags and the tech stuff... ever so selectively.

So pray tell if you need some stuff.
Else it's off to the charities they'll go.
It's goodbye to most of my stuff (hopefully).

So i can see the back of my cupboard again...
and maybe break out of my iron-clad mould soon?

Today was such a long day. A long eventful day. A long, eventful, happy day.

So long and eventful, it has to be broken down into 3 parts.

Part 1:
The Amazing Quirkiness of iBra

We had lessons on psychology with iBra today.

The topic being - How hospitalization (into a mental institution) will affect the family.

All groups did a pretty good job. Most understood the detrimental impact that follows after the negative sterotyping. However, Zul (being a pseudo-psycho expert) had enough foresight to highlight the positive impact that the mental illness may bring. Fara did all the written work and i was forced to present. The combination of our group effort brought praises from iBra. He was impressed with our work.

iBra further explained the notion of mother-child bonding that has been proven to affect the personality and character of the child into adulthood. He mimicked a suckling infant which brought the class to tears (of laughter) and nightmare later on (cause it looked really gross).

The image has since been burned into memory, together with dolby surround sound.

Part 2:
Me + Fara + Zul @ orchard

It has been a long time since we went out together in this combo. We had fun window shopping at Heeren. Minou has since moved out, we dragged Zul to NewUrbanMale for more gay clothes choices, adidas to view the current collection, Minitoons + Action City for toys toys toys.

Then we hopped down to Cineleisure to grab Burger King and people watch. People watching is never complete without bitching. So there we sat, chomping down on artery clogging oily morsels, and engaging in some serious level of bitching. If you heard the things we said, you would have washed our brains and mouths out with a tub full of dettol and an extra large wad of steel wool.

And.. i need to bring this up. As i sat there, innocently bitching about passer-bys, this skinny girl in a mini skirt dropped her wallet a few meters in front of me. What do you think she did? That stupid girl just spread her legs apart and picked it up - unwittingly flashing me with the reddest of red underwear beneath her skirt. Freaking shit.

If i was a kopitiam ah pek, hardworkingly shading my numbers for tomorrow's draw, i would have to spit some serious amount of saliva in hope of 'buang-ing the suay' away. Lucky, i did not get any bak chiam - else i shoot the pus back at her. Then she know. NB.

Next, we headed down to Fara's sister's workplace. She was such a darling. She gave us free use of the PC, a notebook - her gift of love to us, and made us feel really at home there. We saw the 'desperate schoolgirl' there, as usual, alone. Why she was there, i don't know. And i'm not really interested to find out. Haha.

We spied a whole group of gays there too. They were loud and the place is small, so you can't miss it.

Oh yeah, Fara got something stuck under her eyelid. The blardy thing survived all sorts of interventions. And after a while, she looked as though she had been beaten silly - a swollen eye. I presume it must have been a cockroach - no other can survive as many halocausts and natural disasters.

Part 3:
The Debate (Prop - Halim + Me + Fara, with reply speech by Me)

I was glad to see Joey again. Everyone seems smitten by him.

Joey, as usual helped us with prep, a short brief chat to steer us in the right direction. Too brief for my liking though. More more more leh!

I managed to give a decent debate today, or so i think. Heeheee... I salvaged whatever shred of flesh leftover from wednesday.

Alienhead was her fucking irritating usual self. Purposely attracting attention by making a nuisance and a fool of herself. Butting in whenever possible to join in the conversation. I had to freaking brainwash myself not to hurl my slipper at her. No physical abuse but she still could not escape my verbal abuse.

And boy, did i relish the moments... hehehee..

Guess what, i would gladly do it all over again =)

I'm supposed to be asleep. Time warp online thinks otherwise.

So i plough through peoples' profiles on friendster, thumping in the names of whatever and whoever that pops into mind. The fascination continues.....

I beating myself up. School starts at 8am tomorrow. CB.

I'm smiling today.

I went to school partially stoned from a lack of sleep the night before - you see, i was working in the wards yesterday.

Being thrown in different wards helps (i hope) enable me to be more adaptive to changes. It's not easy to go to a new ward and work your butt off. Different places, different people, different policies. I do try my best to leave a good impression. I don't deny that i work hard =) and that's something i'm proud of.

Alas, my body doesn't seem to be like it was before. I can't seem to juggle my part-time job (10-12hr shifts) like before. I get tired. My body aches. I sleep in lectures. And even if my eyes are open, my brain's on a one way ticket to the twilight zone.

Phooey. Pui Chow Nuah.

I went straight home to catch a few winks after school. It doesn't help that home's an hour journey away. Luckily i had great company for quite a distance of the way today. Had Boon, Zul and Mannequin Man.. and of course, the littlest girl - Fara.

Fara went to visit her sister's workplace in orchard while i scooted back home.

I have to wake up at 4pm to return to school by 6.30pm for debate practice, i ranted on and on....

Home proved too damn comfortable. And the evil TV and tidbit combo just erased precious minutes. Darn Oprah. Darn cable. Darn music. Darn my procrastinating nature. My aching body ordered my fingers to switch off the hypnotizing tv. Blardy hell, they never show anything on TV unless it interferes with my rest.

Fara will be giving me a wake-up call at 4pm, i reassured myself.

I slipped into unconsciousness after setting my alarm.

In the end, i woke up gasping at 5pm. What made me jolt out of sleep was supernatural. Hahaa.. I jumped and prepared to rush to school. Gazing at my phone, 22 missed calls. The little girl thought i had died and the debate would have been history. No - i had to attend. I need the practice.

Debate. Debate. Debate ... echoed in the distance. Late Late Late shouted in my face.

The journey to school was eased by meeting Fara at Somerest, and bumping into Mdm Chye and Daddy Lian near school. Mdm Chye had her usual lovely smile - oh how i do love her! And Daddy Lian, well, he looked pregnant. With triplets - so like me. Heeheehee...

I conked at the debate meeting. For one, i fell from the chair onto my butt. I declared unbashfully i was drunk. Sleep drunkedness that is. And during the debate, my brain shut down and i basically mumbled rubbish.

But Joey was his usual encouraging self. His knowledge - Super awe inspiring. As he explained the intricacies of principles and whatnots, i could only squint my eyes and open my ears. He holds eye contact really long so it kinds of intimidates me. Personally, i feel eye contact's really intimate so i avoid it whenever i can - unless i'm staring. Self esteem defect lah...

He came over multiple times to help get our thoughts together. Damn that boy can talk! Cheers to you brother! And what else would you expect from an ang moh potato?! By the way, on our way home, i finally realised he could speak mandarin when he used a chinese idiom - and translated it literally to prove his point. We instructed him to watch "Hard Gay" on Youtube, so he would understand our weird antics.

Joey enquired if we would be attending the debate on friday. He did it so enthusiastically, he looked like a puppy wagging his tail. How could i refuse?

He was so high today. I think he may be drunk too. Drunkedly high. He laughed and joked non-stop. I reckon he would be getting laid that night. Haha.. just for the record, i'm celibate at the moment ok!

And yes, that ang mo potato's looking mighty Hot Hot Hot =) swoon swoon swoon....

BURP......

I'm back from my dinner with Cre at Chinatown. We did a little shopping, a little walking around.

And i've decided to leave some feedback on the place =)

1. OG shopping Centre
You can get most stuff here (from adidas to OP, shoes to perfumes, lingerie to toys, formal to casual attire, bags to skincare) all at reasonable prices here. Best if you can get the OG card (application opens in sept i think) where they offer either special prices or rebates off your next purchase.

I wanted to buy a white bag but Cre advised against it (or rather, she commented it was downright ugly). Wahaha.. i trust her. The bag would have just decorated my cupboard.

2. Peoples'Park Hawker Center
I had the fish soup with rice ($4 + $o.30) and Otah ($1) - at the shop near Mr Bean.

The fish meat was quite fresh, and they used bittergourd for veg. The soup tasted ok. The rice was horrid. You know how anal i can get regarding my rice. This was bitterly disappointing.

The otah looked big. Sales gimmick. Inside the fish was again average. Quite thin but given the price, it was reasonable. Heavily spiced, but do not expect much meaty chunks of fish. The otah at Holland V is much better.

On the whole - average. A good alternative if you want something soupy and relatively lighter hawker fare. Remember to chuck the rice. It was horrid. Real horrid.

I also tried Mr Bean's Soya Ice cream ($1.20 on cone) with an additional topping of chocolate rice ($0.30). A light snack. It was like eating frozen soyabean milk. The sugar cone's the type sold in supermarkets - the type i eat by the dozen. Haha..

On the whole - above average. This is something i would eat again.

3. Peoples' Park Shopping Complex
A variety of shops, pedaling mainly fashionwear and toiletries. A few gems =)

Like the shop formerly known as Min Min on the corner of the 3rd floor. You can get selected branded skincare (ie. Biotherm, SKII, L'oreal, TiGi, perfume) at discounted prices here. This shop stocks a decent variety and is one of the cheapest around. I normally get my conditioner here (my L'oreal Professional Intense Repair conditioner costs $34 here. If you buy it direct from salon, you'll have to bleed about $50). I wanted to switch to Keratase products, but money isn't printed on trees. So i'll have to wait til Fara makes big bucks (in geylang again lor!)- i know she'll spoil me. Hehehehe..

Another shop, called Ocean, even stocks Sebastians' products which are raved by Hollywood celebrities. And they carry a wider array of stocks. So pop by these places for cheap pads and toiletries. A hefty savings of $1-over $20 off per item. Your wallet will thank you.

Cre bought a pearly white sling bag from a shop also on the 3rd floor. The owner said he imports these korean made bags in only a limited number for each design "for more class" (direct quote). The bags were quite nice. Trendy designs, but they weren't all that cheap. Cre's cost $31, after a 20% discount. His sales service was marvellous though. No pressure to buy, lots of care tips and very eager to please.

Sad to say, some shops are only for the brave. They stock clothes from tsunami stricken locations made by handicapped people - i presumed that based on the design and overall outlook of the piece. Frilly here, tattered there, with the usual splatter of indecipherable words trying to pass of as an english sentence. Buy only if proceeds go direct to helping the unfortunate.

The second floor will get budding designers and DIY folk excited. Lots of different kinds of buttons, thread, and what-have-yous there. I personally love the array of oriental handmade buttons sold at nearly every corner =)

Thus ends todays Chinatown review. Who says Chinatown's just for aunties? I think it's filled with GEMs ...... or maybe i'm a fucking aunty to? CB, that's just jealous talk!

Fara's a pseudo celebrity. A hot cake. An IT girl. Smokin'. Sizzling'. So much so, she's being stalked.

By a girl that used to be surrounded by a whole group of people she called her friends. Now, outcasted by the 'lead', she walks the halls of the school alone. Eats alone. Is alone.

So much for her social support. I guess, trying her best to fit in, she clings to Fara for whatever emo support she can generate. Unfortunately, this desperate act backfires, and she ends up coming across as a stalker to the general public.

And how just do you equate a stalker? Incessant calls? Ever so often smses? I don't know. I'm considered loony when compared to normal folk. Only my class and close circle of friends are conditioned enough to put up with my antics.

All i know is I really pity that girl. Oh yeah, i pity Fara too. Having to wreck her brain to cough up excuses again and again, just to avoid being coerced to accompany that girl to do what she pleases/listen to her drama over and over again. Sometimes enough is enough. I believe Fara has gone beyond what you'd expect from an aquaintance.

She bothered to listen. She stood by her during attachment. But a one sided relationship just won't work out. Neither can a friendship be built on pity.

I can't say that i do like that girl very much, but she is after all an aquaintance and a human being. I can't say i condone her actions that brought her to her current placing. Neither can i say her friends are all that great either.

I always thought friends (or rather those i consider friends), hold you close to their hearts. Offer you a hanky when you start to sniffle, lend you a shoulder when you need it, a hug when words no longer offer any solace, the hard truth when you need a good wake-up call etc.

I thank God for the pillars in my life =)

Her friends have offered her none of these. Maybe she hasn''t done her part for them either.

So, in fact, she faces no loss whatsoever.

It's sad to feel out of place. To be alone, not by choice, but by circumstances. And school can get really tough.

Its like being Fadillah. But her's is a different story. She expects us to wait for her and leave her seats but can't do the same. Worst of all, she doesn't share opportunities for others. Although she still hangs around, her selfishness has clearly divided her from the pack.

I have a friend who looks broken.

The fire that was previously shining through her eyes is now gone.

A shadow of her usual self.

Although the smiles are still there, they hide a certain sadness.

I hope she reads this. Read my thoughts and well wishes for her.

Dear friend,
Your mouth may be shut, but i do hear your cries.
Your eyes may be dry, but i do feel the tears.
Your heart may beat, but it hides the sorrow.
You may not reach out, but my hand is always there.

I do not understand the pain, but i too carry your burdens.
Cheer up.

Life has a knack of throwing experiences that strengthen us,

even if it looks like shit in the first place.

My new best friend is (hopefully) Mr Skipping Rope. Yes, i have crumbled under the intense pressure of facing the nubile, lithe bodies, merrily gyrating away in the school grounds.

Shit them.

Those freaks of nature.

Who am i kidding... that's just fucking jealous talk.

The holidays sure have left their mark on me. My clothes don't fit right. My belly juts out. It's just about to get bigger then my breasts. My butt's trying to escape from my pants. My underarm jingle-jangle is wiggling in all its glory. My face makes me look like i'm suffering from cushing's syndrome. Good gosh, the world looks bleak - and that's because my body fat's blocking the sun. I have become a human eclipse making machine.

Ok. I over exagerate. Sometimes. But this time, i'm really squeezing into my clothes. My pants now feel like i'm putting on socks.

I blame myself, letting gluttony take control, over and over again. 3 main meals plus incessant snacking does not equal healthy. Neither is trying to brainwash myself into thinking breathing is a form of rigourous exercise.

I'm cutting down of carbs.

Cutting down on sweet drinks (except milo - it's an addiction i can't say no to).

Cutting down on snacks.. half share Calbee please, only 1 after eight mints, ice cream/gelato once a week, cookies on hold =(

And upping my intake of fiber, protein and adding some exercise in.

My first try was utterly pathetic. After 5 measely minutes of skipping rope, i found myself wheezing like status asthmaticus. I nearly fainted. Imagine that. My smoke filled lungs have never worked this hard.

I will perservere. I must. My thunder thighs have seen their end days.

Armageddon to you, fat cells! Die Die Die!!

Back At One.. not

First day back at school. I sucked in the familiar sights and sounds of mundane school life.

Fara, Moonie, Chicken, psuedo SBM, KFC chick, Jil, KL, Evelyn, Zul, Boon, Mannequin Man, Kueh Dageng, Lobang woman Candy etc etc etc .... even fat ol' CB Phua.
Unfortunately, Mr CB Phua will not be able to join my class any longer. Can Moh Peng have the same fate please?

The littered lecture halls, the tortise slow lifts, the noisy canteens, the alien looking schoolmates, the understocked Cheers - lack of cigarettes, and the lame fairs my school chooses to put up .. i sucked it all in. And my inflated lungs help give the impression of a fuller chest. Woohoo. i hope..

It's wonderful to see all of them again. (and still minus the chest)
I can continue to ____________________ .
(There's such inifinate possibilities, i won't bother to limit myself, you fill in the blank yourself)

*******************

Inbred with a samaritan-ism, I wanted to let Moonie use my NETS to pay for her school fees because she only had cash on hand (and yes, the stupid school doesn't accept cash). However, her devil fingers must have been electrically charged with static. One rub of her hand, and my NETS card was totally fried. I was lucky i didn't lend her any of my credit cards.. HENG AH.

So ......... Fara accompanied me to Plaza Sing to make a new card at the bank. Standing in line alone with nothing else much to do, i made the following observations :

1. the notice near the tellers read : withdrawals/exchanges .
From afar, and at a glance, it looked more like sexchanges.

2. A balding ang moh man in a turquoise polo tee and khaki berms. At first, he looked normal enough, but there was something amiss, something that was just screaming for attention. It took me quite a while to register. I stared and stared and stared. Then, like a sledgehammer, it struck me. Embroidered on the sides of the berms were that of flora and fauna. Emroidered. Flora. Fauna. Good Gosh. My eyes started to burn.

After that, we window shopped. I realize Fara's one really girly person. She likes prissy stuff of sparkly bits, lacy/cabbage edged/skirts, among others. She drew the line at the ultra bling cherry keyring at Chomel though - Thank gawd!

We struttered into Sasa and tested some perfumes. It all seemed to smell really weird. A mix of stale perfume and other unimaginable ingredients. For one, i was farting every step of the way. Releasing my silent killers among the crowd. My colonic pheromones =) Lovely. Really.

Fara and I peered over makeup.. more so her then me. Then walked some more.

I begged her to get me some mouthwatering Bose equipment when we past by an audio shop. She promised she would - provided she got a job in Geylang. So, i'm keeping my hopes up and my fingers crossed =) and i do hope her legs will remain open...

I've spent 2 years looking at these places, 2 years staring at those faces, 2 freaking years. And in just anotherblink of an eye(lid), it'll all be over. But firstly, i'll have to go through NAFA. My fats are already protesting!