I went to the newly renovated Marina Square with crescentia the other day. Well, not so new, but i'm such a hillbilly. The mall was massive. Clean lines with a light, bright feel permeated the mall's atmosphere. So many shopping ops. So many makan places. Simply wonderful.

There's a lack of uptown boutiques though, no Prada, LV, Gucci or Ralph in sight - but you can always get them across the street at Suntec or in nearby Orchard. Although, the mid range brands are plentiful and screaming for attention.
You've got :
Esprit
Zara
Ms Selfridge
Creative Store
Crocs
yada yada yada

Enough to send your wallet crying rape at the end of the day.

We chose to try out Carl's Jr after much hype in the media. Yucks. What a terrible disappointment.

We had the:
1. Super Star
A large sized cheeseburger. The bun will appeal to ppl who like their bread a little denser. It was flavourful and filling. The patty is scrawny, very much what you would expect from a fast food joint. On the whole, burger king would be a more cost effective option.

2. Fish and Chips
I liked the fish fillets but Cre thought otherwise. She said it tasted 'funny'. You make your own assumptions. The chips (french fries) were horrid. Soggy and cold. Packed under the 3 fish fillets. A measely serving of tartar suace accompanied the set.

3. Onion Rings
Much raved, but equally disappointing. Overpowering taste of flour. I felt sick of it after the 3rd ring. Give this a try only if you must.

4. Waffle Fries
Just fancy cut potatoes. Much nicer then the shoe string cut fries that came with the fish and chips. However, again not worth the price.

5. Chocolate milkshake
Absolutely horrid. It was like the cow had udder diarrhea. No chocolate taste whatsoever. Just ickyily sweet vanilla-ish milk. So thick we had to eat the damn thing with a spoon till it melted.

We opted for the free flow drinks and wondered why the hell anyone would buy a large size when you could top up the drink. The free salsa dip and ang moh achar was disgusting in view near the counter. The messy counter looked like an MOEnv's nightmare. On the whole, i recommend a pass on the place unless you REALLY want their burgers.

Carl's Jr Experience -
Atmosphere : POOR. Too many lame people trying to act posh and overall messy counters and dirty tables.

Food : SUCKS. Horrid. Enough said.

Price Range : TOO HIGH. Even 10 cents is too high a price to pay for horrid food.

Service : MODERATE. You've got your regular eager-to-please mixed with the i-don't-give-a-damn-they-don't-pay-me-enough crew. And limited knowledge on their own products.

Overall : EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Another day in the ward.

Another day of piss ass shit.

Another day for me to pull a freaking long face.

I tell you, the damn blardy drama never ends. What do you get when 1 staff nurse says 1 thing and another says some other thing? BLAME.

My posting really sucks. For 1 thing, the staff seems more interested in my private life then anything else. Constantly asking me which ward i was previously from, whether i have a boyfriend, how old i am... yada yada yada. Chee Bye. Please, i'm now a student, ask me the things that are pertaining to work. I do not like you. Neither are you my friend. So stop acting so chummy with me. Heck, i don't even want to know what you think of me. Get a life.

And to blatantly pass sarcastic comments about the students. Fuck you. What makes you think you can get angry at me and not expect me to feel the same way against you?! I don't have to suck up to you. I don't have to take your rubbish. And more importantly, i don't have to clean up your shit.

I put on such a black face daily, i get sick myself. Even 1 more day feels like an eternity. The patients are great though. And i believe most of the students work damn hard. To belittle our contributions is just pure vulgar body parts (read : virgina & penis).

I seriously VERY angry. Very frustrated. Very pissed. Very everything.

I try to work as best i can. I make mistakes, correct me. I try to keep calm and open. However, when the level of respect i render unto you is not reciprocated, do not expect me to lay like a doormat and cower. I respect your decision. I respect your rules. But enough is enough. It's time to take a stand.

Enough fake smiles. It's evident that i don't even try to make small talk with the staff these days. Go to HELL. If you have a bone to pick with me, BRING IT ON.

A small fry like me is patiently waiting. Waiting for you bastards to drop the hell dead. If i ever pass out into this ward, i cannot comprehend the amount of damage i will do. Seriously.

My posting in this ward ends in just 3 days. Then it's 2 greatly appreciated weeks of HOLIDAYS.

And i'm glad. Elated. With a smile that stretches as wide as my cheeks allow. And my happy hair continues to defy gravity and stand on end.

A few good things manage to wiggle itself out in this particularly dreadful posting.

For one, the patients i encountered, has further reinforced my perspective i have towards life.

I have a patient who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, she discovered it in the initial stage and underwent aggressive treatment - Surgery to remove the growth, alongside chemotherapy coupled with radiation. Nevertheless, striken with the disease at such a young age didn't obscure her positive outlook in life.

"It made me stronger," was the exact words that rolled of her tongue. Unparalleled courage.

Another patient shows me the importance of family support. She confided in me, her intention of suicide (which we later highlighted to the staff in-charge). Now, her family has been informed and they are playing a more active role in her care.

Some of the staff are gems. My CI's also great. She's supportive and understanding.
They make coming to work a little less odious.

Although there will always be a handful, whose attitude is in severe need of an overhaul. When we inform them of potential dangers (ie. deviation from norm parameter values), they give a fuck face and complain. If i had my way, i'd have the whole lot of them stuffed into an oven, on high. Burning them to a smokey crisp, then spreading it over some barren land, fertilizing the soil - probably the only good they're capable of. I'd refrain from feeding them to animals for the simple fact that they may give the poor unsuspecting creature some disease of indescribable nature. Hopefully they won't harm the vegetation. I'm willing to take that chance.

Pulitzer Smulitzer

Fara told me she read this person's blog the other day. Letting curiosity get the better of me, i went to check it out myself.

What a letdown.

Considering this person's eloquence, aparrent confident demeanor and quest for wordly possessions (he cheongs brands), his entries were really really bland. It was like an old lady masquerading as a cheese cake - clueless.

Reading it bore me to tears. It was about a series of short stories. Linked or not, i really can't remember. I took no effort to read the whole she-bang in detail. By the 3rd entry, i was practically weeping. And by the 5th, i was weeping so much, i was temporarily blind.

Below is an example of what resulted of my blindness :

@#)(@$*(*($oijf(*#$y@# vp )vn@_) $(_)($@+*^(

********************************************

Some people possess a certain type of magic. Able to spin tales and weave wonderful stories from words. Verbally painting an imaginary world filled with excitement and adventure.

I'm not there yet. I can't even spell.

And.. that guy, is much, much further away.

I continue to hate this particular posting. Far too much drama. Drama Mama, can you just take a hike? Some people in the ward continue to have heavy, free flow menses. Yes, the hormones are in overdrive. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Today was Prof Phua's first day in central - (he was booted from B2) the CIs decided to give him a change of environment after yesterday's crying session. And already, some staff have commented that they presume he has trisomy 21 (Down's syndrome). Wah.. you see, there ARE people bitchier then me.

I pity him though. He enters most places with a bad reputation. And that's really hard to change. Like a shadow, clinging to him everywhere he goes. I won't say that he doesn't deserve it. He's seriously lazy and MIAs all the time. However, with some of the treatment being hollered at him, it can be off-putting at times.

He doesn't help others. Always hiding in his room and works like a magician - he disappears. And when he tries, he fumbles and makes things worse. I hope he bucks up, else he may fail his current posting. But failing may be a good thing. It's not safe to have a RN like him around. Believe me, with the seive already having holes large enough to pass out people like the dental hygiene-less woman in B2, the snooty over-acting bitch in 45 among others, nursing in singapore is bad enough.

The sisters are equally blind to the level of care and amount of work the (some) students put in. We slog long, hard hours in the wards. We clean. We wipe. We clear. We get ordered around. Basically, finishing the jobs that no one else wants to do very much. In the end, what do we get? Snide remarks like "the students are all hanging around doing nothing" or "look at them. the students are so free". Would you like me to dig your ass, sister? Or would you prefer to get laid (doggie style or anal, up to you) and come to work happy for a change?!

Don't take your menopause/lack of sex/out-of-shape-body/overgrown axillary hair/balding and/or receeding hairline etc etc etc out on me.

I'm proud of my partner in my room. Kamalia's a hard worker and shows a lot of concern to the wellbeing of the patients. You go girl..!!

My heart sank when a patient confided in me that she felt like attempting suicide. She verbalized a lack of finances and being a burden to not only her family, but also to the nurses in the ward. She'd hold her pee for fear of troubling us (she uses the bedpan). She even cited a few ways to carry out her plan. We (me and kamalia) of course, alerted the RN i/c. Suicide is no joking matter. I tried to console her. Although, i don't know if what i did was actually enough.

I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to share her feelings with me though... but i wouldn't like to hear that ever again. However, reality thinks otherwise. A lot of people contemplate suicide. And, at a point where we think we are at our lowest, death may seem the best (or easiest) option. Some say it's a cowards' way out. But have you ever thought of the amount of courage it takes to jump of a building? Some say it's an attention seeking behaviour. Have you ever considered the importance of social support? And others think they do not deserve life. But can they underestimate all the pain the person is going through?

I presume it's never as easy as it's made out to be.

Death by desperation is as mentally torturing as any physical illness - cherlosophy 2006

And there are countless manifestations that go un-noticed, or are simply brushed aside. Some lives, are fortunately, saved. While others, are lost. I guess the first step to making a difference is by being a listening ear? Cause it sure as hell feels a hell lot better when i complain relentlessly to someone. Look at Ross and Sharon Lee. Their ears are practically stuffed with wax because of all my complaining. Wahaha.. and i have Rick to boss around and quarrel with..

I'm lucky. Others may not be as so.

Help make a difference. Please. You may save a life - so listen to Prof Phua once in a while. And cut him some slack.

I am back in the ward. Another day of drama.

I heard my friends saying Nazmi asked a patient who was humming to himself to shut up. That really made my blood boil. Bubbling like a volcano, i had to hunt that bastard down. Who the hell is he to ask a patient, MY patient to shut up? Nabeh.

I will give no chance for escape. He had to understand that it is WRONG. BLARDY WRONG.

Cutting him in his tracks, I pointed at him and asked him straight to his pimply, irritating face, making sure my voice was loud enough to be heard by others (i'm a bitch, i have a reputation to maintain) :

"Aiye Nazmi! I heard you asked my patient to shut up ah? Why did you do that?!"

That lame bastard answered : "No leh. Where got?"

Me : "Are you sure?! Then why will people talk?"

Bastard : "Errr.... yeah."
Lame bastard starts a lame giggle. Fucker.

Me : "You have no right to do that. He was only humming to himself. No reason for you to tell him to shut up right? I think you owe him an apology."
My fucked up face has manifested BIG TIME by this point.

Bastard : "Ok lor. Ok."

Lame bastard.

Why the hell come into nursing if you belittle the rights of a patient? Blardy hell... the poor patient was only HUMMING to himself. And that's a crime??! It does not warrant a rude remark like that.

So far, i've yet to slap that fat lame bastard (Nazmi) for polluting the lecture hall with his disgusting guitar strumming. He's trying to act cool. TRYING, not succeeding. In fact, i should be slapping his sickening face everytime i see him. Irritating. Piss off. And i shall not even go into the fact that he harrassed Moonie. Poor Moonie.

But, God sees all. And today, He worked especially fast. That fat bastard got an acute attack of hives. WAHAHHAAA.... his face popped itchy bumbs all over. He looks disgusting as it is already. Having the hives just accentuated his alternative "beauty".

That brought a WIDE grin to my face. You would have mistaken me to be the cheshire cat. All teeth. Teeth. TEETH.

I was just seiving through my hard disk when i chanced upon some pictures. Pictures that i took 2 years earlier.Pseudo virginal faces of some of my classmates.

Since then, there has been a lot of change.

Some friends have changed their image.
Some have changed partners.
Some still think of ONLY getting laid.
Some are struggling with family issues and/or financial distress (aren't we all to some aspect)Some still find it hard to cope with life.
Where some friendships have withered away, some have fostered stronger bonds.

One year left in school. Two years have passed.
Two more semesters.
Yes, we've made it this far.
Just how much further can i go?
Just how much further can i push myself?

Let's just wait and see...