WARNING!

Reader discretion is advised

The following entry is a no-holds barred record of the incident that took place on sat. I will in no way be held accountable for any premature alopecia, cardiovascular compromise or the significant alterations in proposed normal psychological behavior in the individual that follow, during and/or after the course of reading this entry.

Don't even bother to leave a comment. It doesn't matter what you think. I seriously don't give a damn.

You have been warned.

*************************************

We attended the inter-poly debates competition today. Fara and I had scooted off to town earlier in the week to purchase black jackets (at dear old G2000) simply because of the horrid nature of the supplied school blazer (That ugly, ill fitting thing reached my knees!)

In all senses, I would not want to be caught dead wearing an atrocity like that. Trust me, Calvin Klein would have spewed blood. Lagerfield would have suffered a stroke. And Versace? Well, he would be rolling in his grave.

But enough of that, back to my story.

The competition was supposed to allow us to interact with students from other institutions. The key word here would be : SUPPOSED (insert the green alien's OOooos and Ahhhhs here). It never happened. Teams pretty much kept to themselves and some, well, they came with such an elitist ideation, the thought of interactions with mere mortals like us digusted them.

We managed to win the first round easily. The second round, my teammate, Terrence had to endure some personal attacks from 2 members of the opposing team (namely, Gay Boy and Squirrel-loves-to-hide-my-walnuts Phua Chee Bye). And I didn't understand the motion well, so matter wise, I had nothing much to say. However, my team still managed to win (bless Alex's matter loaded soul and Terry's analytical skills), and because the other team did poorly.

The 3rd round saw us meeting Poly from the east side. And you know what? Their whole freaking damn bloody team (supporters and coach included - a classical example of how an apple doesn't fall very far from the tree) were such bastards. Yes, I'm including all the people present in the room here. And for the record : THEY ARE BASTARDS AND MORONS.

In a desperate attempt to win (they were on a losing streak), they used underhanded tactics, chose to forgo any form of decorum and placed personal attacks in top priority. And it got me pissed. Really pissed. Really, seriously, beyond a doubt pissed.

And everyone knows. It would not be a pretty sight.

I concede to the fact that my team did not have enough knowledge on the topic chosen. But we fought as best we could. However, turning a blind eye on basic decorum, the opposing team and their lackeys shouted in jest and banged on the tables when their team members spoke. I never denied the importance of support from the floor in competitions like this. In fact I understand the importance. But when my first speaker went up, they jeered and spat nasty, sarcastic comments - this was unneccessary. And made a circus out of the whole deal.

That in itself threw a spotlight on their lack of sportsmanship.

When it was my turn, they tried to derail me through my speech by POI-ing me incessantly and the floor threw nasty comments aloud. I held my ground. There was this bastard in the audience who stared at me and purposely laughed loudly, intending to create a diversion or break my confidence. FUCKER.

Burning with irritation, I took a brief moment to stare at the black bastard (i did not bother to engage in small talk to dig out his name - for the simple fact that he was too dirty) in the foreground to shut his faggot mouth and put him in place. He got the hint and slithered back to the hole he crawled out from. Apparently, I have eye power. Haha.You don't look so haughty now do you? LAME BASTARD.

Their debate team was no better either. Their speakers, in particular, the lame 2nd (chee bye face), started her POI with some stupid sarcastic remark, further igniting my fury. And for the record : YES, I HAD TO SHUT HER UP, pointing to the fact that her opportunity of question was wasted due to her stupidity in wasting time.

Piss-o-meter rating : on a scale of 1 - 10, they had upped the bar to 2000.

I was told that chee bye face also had a habit of undressing through the course of the debate. First, she removed her jacket. Then she unbuttoned her shirt. Next, she took off her shoes. Zul was praying that the whole debate would extend so she could strip naked and turn this whole circus into an all out, true blue strip club.

Their 3rd speaker, Mr I'm-so-blatantly-itching-for-anal-penetration, was too female for words. I too made my displeasure known by my "Throw-an-evil-eye campiagn". He also chose to tuck his dick (well, if you can even consider his taugeh sized prick that) inbetween his tighs.

Thankfully, I was brought up in civilized domestic environment, which clearly translates into : I VALUE SPORTSMANSHIP, and didn't see the necessity to stoop to their level.

It was good that these measures (of eye power and highlighting their underhanded personal attacks) managed to instill some calm to the floor. In the end, I was able to push forth some matter into the debate.

Fara said I appeared calm, passionate even, although I can assure you, it wasn't passion. I was possessed, which i hope was more alike to Joey then Adrian. My teammates said they were proud of me.

Thanks for the support guys.

We lost that round. Just as Jose predicted after he debriefed us. He commended us for our efforts and threw in strategies and matter to enlighten us. Prop won because we allowed them to get away with a vague description of their policy and definition of the terms identified.

It is a lesson learnt. This will not be repeated.

So in the end, we won 2 out of 3 debates. Wed would be the last round of the prelims. 1 last match to go. My team hopes to break into the semis, though I hope my team won't clash with the other representative from our school. It would be such a deja vu.

What is the moral of the story?
1. Ruffle my feathers, get a story.
2. Seriously anger me, get a story with your name in print.
3. This particular east-side institution's Debate club members and their coach are SICK BASTARDS AND MORONS in need of an emergency revamp in etiquette.

If you would, by any chance, like to epxress comment, even though i have explicitly cited my stance, you stubborn people can email them to : cheryldoesntgiveafuck@gmail.com
See if i care.

With such persuasive arguments highlighted to you in the abovementioned summary of this day's events, THIS MOTION MUST STAND.

I'm not particularly proud of myself today.

On my way home from debate, I met a man sitting near the edge of the sidewalk at the bus stop. He wore a scruffy looking tee shirt and plain shorts. He also had a bag hung over his neck, much like how one would wear a necklace.

Him sitting near the edge of the sidewalk with all the buses whizzing by, unnerved me.

In a single glance, I had already formed a preconceived motion that he had to be a beggar.

"Must be sent by those syndicates to cash in on the Christmas season," I reasoned.

On a second look, I noticed a huge cyst wrapping his right ankle. And within 2 minutes of seeing this man, I had condemned him to be a cheat, playing upon the sympathy of good natured bypassers.

Some people chose to ignore his presence.
Others cast sideway glances and whispered fervently to their friends.

I could not take my eyes off him.

I witnessed the people jump over him.
I saw them walk around him.
I watched as the world, so busy, disregarded him.

A lady came by. I mentioned to a friend that I liked the white bag she was carrying. I thought she would go up to him to offer him some change. Instead, she squinted at the bus guide found next to him.

The man gazed up at her as she read the bus guide and rubbed her tummy.

Not very long after, he started to move, dragging his limp lower body with his arms over the pavement. I could almost feel the harsh ground cut into my own flesh, as he inched his way towards the bus.

I saw the same woman scurry up the bus. And the man followed suit.

I observed him drag himself up the steps of the bus.
I stared as he raised his arm to plop in the coins for the bus fare.
I looked on as the bus driver leaned over the side to watch the man drag himself further into the bus.

"Is he following that woman?!" I panicked.

Suddenly, I realized how unfairly I had stereotyped this man.

What wrong had he done?

Nothing.

What did he do to deserve such disrespect?

Nothing.

Who was I to pass such judgment onto a fellow human being?

No one.

I fixed my gaze on the bus as it pulled out of the bus stop and down the road, with the crippled man and the lady with the white bag I admired.

That man did me no wrong.
I had no excuse to despise him.
Yet I did.

On the bus ride home, I sat in the chilly air-conditioned upper deck and mulled over what happened. I had morphed into just another bitch with a heart as cold as the artificially cooled bus.

I had unjustly discriminated another simply because he was different.

A beggar would have chosen a better place to beg.
A beggar would have called out for your attention.
A beggar would have stretched out his hand for alms.
A beggar would not have paid for his bus fare.

If that man ever reads this, I would like to say that I'm sorry.
Really sorry.

DESTINY VS CHOICE

Whatever happens, happens for a reason.

And whatever doesn't kill, just makes you stronger.

Do you believe in fate?
That your destiny has already been written in the book of life?
Or do you believe that one possesses the power to change the world?

I believe in a little of both.

We're all born with certain gifts. Gifts that allow us to stand out, and ultimately help define the person that we are. Besides these, the years also christen upon us, a slew of acquired qualities and a fellowship of relationships to see us to the end days.

Perhaps early on in life, being young and none-the-wiser, most decisions were made for us or even through the folly of youth. I know of friends that have unselfishly given up their dreams to live out the dreams their parents could not attain. I have friends that have entered marriage to save their family's fortunes. I have friends who have no courage to break free from the shackles of the past.

Some people may think it is the epitome of altruism.

But what good is life when that life is lived for others?

Age then brings forth wisdom and the unmistakable notion of freedom. Yet, I still see people who exhibit maturity beyond their age being chained to circumstances beyond their control.

I know of friends that have to support their sick parents (pertains to both mentally and physically) . I have heard of friends trapped in abusive relationships. I see some friends continuing a brave front, battling disease. I have friends doing things they do not enjoy.

Tousled between themselves and the world.

At times, we think we may have made mistakes. Or that this shitty excuse for life has left us severely shortchanged. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, these are opportunities to learn. We have to undergo certain phases in life before we can move on.

Like a video game, where one gains power or talents after a fight before progressing to the next level.

We can decide what we want to do with our lives. We can use these lessons learnt through heartache and suffering. We can deal with the mistakes. We can empower ourselves to right the wrongs. We can gain knowledge from the years.

And when you start to hear a irrepressable urge to answer a calling... Know that your time is now. Turn not away, but open yourself to embrace something He knows lies buried within but you're too afraid to ask.

He knows of all the stupid things that i asked for, all i wanted was happiness.

We can find hope.

We can be strong.

***********************************************

I've had my fair share of experiences.

I've gone through the mandatory teenage angst.

I'm riding the waves of adulthood.

He gives me peace.

He heard my call, and i, His.

I look at my hands often to remind myself what I am capable of.

I only turn back to see how far I have come.

I look ahead to see how far I can go.

And look around to see how blessed i am.

I question people, motives, myself

No questions are ever meaningless
And not all questions require an answer

Depending on the motive of the person asking the question
It may be used to emphasize a point
Create an awareness, or find an answer

I like to ask questions

Having too many to keep track off
Most end up being answered albeit satisfactorily
Others lay nagging
While a percentage lay dormant
Hiding in the back of my thoughts until they're ready to be resurrected

Pity you asked a question I could not answer
Or can you read my mind, and see that I simply refuse to?

The truth being stranger the fiction
And considering the consequence that may follow...
Wouldn't a defeatist stance be more comfortable?

Look at me, as I turn away, going about my usual routines

I'm joining the glitzy world of the masquerade ball

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Encounters of a strange(r) Kind

It is said that a full moon perpetuate strange events.

It's such an understatement.

It must be the changes in the phases of the moon, or the adverse effects of global warming, or even the shifting plate tectonics, that have inherently caused such a huge tidal wave of PMS across the landscape. Sheesh.

Either that, or it must be my innate ability to attract PMS-y characters. And it's this manner of bloody outflow, that repeats itself on a daily basis. Like how assured one can be that the sun rises from the east every morning.

Do i possess a mutant gene that alters my DNA thus extremely?

Sometimes i can laugh it off. Like how i did in the toilet when the staff complained we (students) were laughing too loudly in the toilet during my ED attachment.

Hello, it's a TOILET. Not a library.

Or the time when i simply could not (or refused to) comprehend the SN's instructions, leaving her to curse and roll her eyes.

Or even the time when the stupid AN insisted i was standing near the doorway, thus blocking it when i was trying to, like her, exit the door.

Hello, the door doesn't have a glass panel. I'm trying to exit. You're trying to enter. So why am i being scolded for using the door?

Othertimes, i choose to walk away and pretend it never happened. For the simple fact that i need to exercise self restraint. Cause the only thing i can be sure of is that, my words will sting. Long.

On a lighter note, i enjoyed myself at debate training on monday night. I missed the people there, having missed training for some time. Though as usual, i was lacking in either structure or content, Joey still found something positive to me. I'm brainwashing myself, I'm building confidence! More importantly, i'm having fun! And yes, Joey's still looking good.

The dates for the interpoly debate competition is out. The 2 teams have been announced. Joey chose me to be with Alex and Terrence. And a debate session with them on mon proved our team to actually work rather well together. So it's good.

Terrence's regained his confidence. Alex remains calm and collected (bless his soul.. and thanks to the bugger for getting me a rather quirky item from cambodia/laos/thailand).

You should have seen the debate senior who came! He's weird with a capital W. And when i got stuck talking to him, the rest simply scooted off, thanking their lucky stars and offering prayers. I had to entertain him while he remained unaware of how much i wanted to run off screaming under the moonlight. He wore this striped blue shirt with huge yellow stains all over. One stain was over his right clavicle, spilling over to his right shoulder; which made it look as though he had a baby puke all over him while being carried.

I would have ended up in the same state had he carried me.

I've also ended all my attachment postings for this semester =) and i'm finally able to smile again. I got to be excused very early today. And chicken and i got to roam around Bedok, buying food and making fun of people.

She likes saying the Swan Hello.
I like the Doremon mother and son combo.
She likes the leery uncle on the train.
I almost got psycho-ed by her to get the Bean carrier.

Hahaha =)

It's fun to be on attachment with her. That's cause she's lame. I hope we get to do our PRCP together too. But that means she has to choose the same disciplines as me, which roughly translates into .... hello ti ti?!

Cherlosophy's Life List

1. Go skydiving
2. Go to US to wreck havoc with Sharon Lee
3. Go to China with my PRC classmates
4. Ride the reverse bungee thingee
5. Throw a mock seizure when i'm being scolded to freak the fella so much they'd never dare do it to anyone ever again
6. To not be a doormat
7. Remind the people i love that i do
8. Wear a wig
9. Make a new friend
10. Get a merit
11. Clean my room
12. Start liking to clean the house
13. Perform in IMH with the patients
14. Work damn hard in Dec 2006
15. Upgrade my earings
16. Learn a new language and speak it well - jibberish not counted
17. Smile more
18. Get my life story published

Right now, the count stands at 18.

I've been fortunate enough to have gone through some experiences. And i'd like to add to the list. Though some experiences may not have seemed to be positive at the particular point in time, it's cumulative effect has made me what i am today.

I am Cheryl.

C-H-E-R-Y-L and damn proud to be me.