(ALMOST) PAY DAY

Today was a day bustling with activity.

For a start, I was scheduled to work from 9am-6pm because Lao Lao wanted me to attend a seminar chaired by a visiting expert from 3.15pm. I presume the word ‘expert’ here is used loosely. They seem to label any healthcare personnel that visit the hospital grounds an expert.

The talk was super dry and boring. I sat at the back, munching on my curry puff and basicallly instigating all the people who were fasting to hijack my tasty morsels.

Anyway, the morning hours were really hard to pass. Our side had, get this, a grand total of 5 patients. To a total of 4 nurses. That beats ICU down flat man. I was bored out of my wits, so I dragged a couple of patients to bathe and spent 45 glorious minutes on a bilateral foot dressing which was damn disgusting. Every cotton ball I cleansed with, came white and went to the dustbin looking like I dunked it into a cup of milo. YUCKS. I cleaned like a woman possessed, satisfied only when the cotton ball returned in an acceptable manner.

And since I would be going on my annual leave, I decided to spend a little more time with my patients. The lady in room 23 traded hugs with me, a ritual we adhere to almost every day. She’s a funny lady, only taking her nebulizer after I hug her. It makes her happy, so it’s all good.

I sat out room 25 for breakfast. Everyone says I spoil her, giving into her antics and basically babying her. Sometimes when she gets too breathless, she uses hand signals to me, and because I’ve been nursing her for close to 2 months, I can roughly guess what she wants even before she needs to say things (aka pseudo fortune teller). Her appetite is slowly improving with all the love and attention that she’s getting, even though one has to come to terms with the fact that time is running out for her.

She makes me rub this evil looking red liquid on her belly to ease the distention. It evaporates into pungent fumes that burn and sting the mucosal layers of the nose and eyes. EVIL.

But I do it anyway. I’m a sucker for her smile.

I used to coax her relentlessly to finish her Mist Carminative. Until the night my preceptor and i tried it. We spit the damn thing out the moment it touched our tongues. It tastes like some freakish fish sauce and flour combo. DISGUSTING. So i promised myself never to inflict her the same torture again.

Indra loves to disturb her. You should witness it yourself. It’s just damn funny. One time, Mel shook her bed and we all ran around the room shouting earthquake!!! That old lady just creaked open her lids a fraction of an inch and waved us away.

So anticlimax. Duh.

Today, when she asked Indra to reduce the volume of the telly, Indra did the exact opposite. She nagged at us while we chuckled uncontrollably beside her.

My preceptor also had to bribe another patient with Prima Deli’s chicken pie so he would consent for blood taking too.

So, as you can imagine, my ward spoils the folks there.

With the low census and the research division out-stationed, the ward is getting a little too quiet for my liking. People like Meng Hwee, Gary, the other SN all take the effort to exchange greetings with the patients out in the walkway, allowing the patients interaction with people apart from the usual green uniform. And yes, the saga between Eczema Girl and Gary is seriously amusing to behold.

Today, Kristabel signaled that my abdomen was expanding. Then she asked if Gary or KC was responsible. I replied, “It was a wild night. It could be either one.” For the record, it was a joke. I cannot be impregnated by air. Unless you can devise a way for sperm to be airborne (flicking sperm through the air just doesn't count), I refute the advances made by this topic. Wahahhaha..

I nearly banged head on into Gary today. It was a weird conversation.

Gary : Hey! How are you?!
Me : Good! And how about you!!
Gary : EXCELLENT!!
Me : OK!!
Gary : OK!!

Yes, we were shouting at the top of our voices in the hall. Don’t ask me why. I was just mirroring his behavior.

On the second meeting, I stood by the gates, waiting for my brother (whom was damn freaking-pull-hair-from-roots late) to pick me up for our monthly supermarket spree together. Gary was walking with his female colleague into the compound. Waving, another conversation ensued.

Gary : Aiye! You morning shift ah?
Me : 9-6 lor.. damn sheong ah!
Gary : You waiting here for what?
Me : (About to answer but gets interrupted)
Gary : Waiting for me ah?! Hahaha.. (he still has the cheek to laugh)

*This is where his female colleague’s eyeballs go amok*

Me : I’m waiting for my brother lah. Duh.Why are you back?
Gary : Getting my stuff. See you!
Me : Bye!

And yes, we were shouting again. I think either one of us has a serious hearing deficit.

The security guard must have had a field day with the drama, watching all this in the safety of his guard house in front of the gate.