I'm into my 2nd week of being a full fledged professional ass cleaner/maid (aka nurse) but i have yet to even get my hands dirty. It's just day after day of super mind numbing, boring lectures by (just about) anyone and everyone who has failed english.

Yes, i'm serious.

So serious in fact, Zul states that it's a requirement to fail english before one can even climb up the ladder of success. Hahahaaa... and let's face it, i can do that deliberately =)

As you climb the ladder of success,
Don't let the boys look up your dress

I'm itching to return to the wards quick, for the simple fact that prolonged absence will dilute whatever skills i've spent so much effort aquiring.

I need to keep my hands nimble. And i think i need my doses of ah mah and ah peks. And runs to the canteen. Or maybe i just want to keep my brain alive and prevent impending dementia..!

I've made some nice new friends at this foundation program. With so many breaks inbetween lectures, it's also no wonder that i've packed on the pounds. There's really nothing much to jot down and even less brain power required. Except for IV meds, which, incidentaly starts tomorrow.

Ok, visibily, i'm not putting much effort into this post. It's just a hectic update about current events. So yeah.. end.

Friend or Foe

Last weekend, the newspaper published an article of the rising trend youngsters have these days. Apparently, the latest hobby is collecting ‘friends’ in popular websites online.

The story featured 2 young ladies, the elder of which had protruding ears looked like some mutant chink mickey mouse (I’m so sorry Walt) And the younger one, well, let’s just put it as she had a face that would plant her squarely onto the streets of Geylang on a late night, under super dim light.

Between the 2 ladies, they alleged that they had something like 16 thousand friends among their multiple accounts in Friendster, My Space etc. And they even had the cheek to say that people are attracted to their profile/site because of their pretty pictures.

Please! PUKES.

However, I understand that beauty lies in the eye of beholder, and yes, it’s applicable even you’re staring at your own reflection (blind) with a hefty dose of ego.

I pity those ladies. Not only for their lack of reality (with regards to their definition of ‘pretty’), but more so for their superficial outlook on friendship. To them, the numbers of people that tag them (or vice versa) as friends are more important compared to cultivating real, positive relationships.

To me, a real friend is REAL and not a figment of someone else’s overactive imagination. A friend is someone that will :
- stand by you when times get tough
- tell you honestly that you’re being a bitch when you are
- offer a shoulder to lean on
- will listen
- allows you to make your own decision
- accepts you for who you are

Tell me, of all the people included into your account (the lame ladies included), be it Friendster, or Bitchster, how many of those can you really call a true friend?

Whoopie!!!

*power house taichi stances*

*flipping mad mid air kung-fu kicks*

*synchronized dances around banana trees (and other foliage)*

as if my stiff bones can do any of them

Ok lah.

2 thumbs up and a smile should suffice

why? asked the little kaypoh reading this entry.

Because i checked the movie listings for Spider Lilies today and saw that they brought down their ridiculous orchard tower nightlife time slots down to the afternoons =)

Goodie!!!!!!

Daddy's Girl

I still hear your voice gliding on zephyrs

I feel your gaze on me

At times, your arms outstretched

The recognizable patter of your gait
I can still identify your silhouette even amongst the shadows
The faint smoky aroma lingers

Along with memories resistant to fade

I remember

I remember of long night drives
I remember of us gorging o nMac Happy Meals just to satiate my whims
I remember our heart-to-hearts

I remember the good times and the rough

It's how you left that i want to forget

Happy Birthday Daddy

You know I love you. And I always will.

I hope wherever you are, you're proud.

!@H*)*WKJNLISDJODU(IW(UOJ@_)*)*&^(%#^RTFJGVMDBASOP(Q*&@#)&^@!(&#){PO?@EOU*Y*E&^*@&T#GHPWOEU(N203984y9hS*Y^&*%*^@T#IH((&^*^R

The abovementioned is a direct result of what becomes of an irrate Cheryl.
(read : bangs head on keyboard)


I really, really, REALLY had my sights set on catching Spider Lilies.

Reading all the positive reviews and watching the trailers online, just spurred the interest within.

Just why do I want to watch it so badly?

1. It’s about a topic rarely discussed in (supposedly clean-as-a-whistle) Singapore.

The last film about homosexuality that they actually allowed in the cinema was Philadelphia and Boys Don't Cry (well, that's if i remember correctly anyway). And those were so censored, they might as well have been trailers.

2. In all truth, I’m kaypoh.

I want to join in and see what all the brouhaha is regarding the movie. I too, want to partake in the exchange of views, putting in my 2 cents worth of comments online and perhaps for once, be part of the 'in' or trendy topic. Ok, i'm lying.

I want to see if the 2 girls really kiss. I want to know why the taiwanese have suddenly produced a spat of homo movies. I want to understand the story behind the tattoo.

So yeah, it would be right to categorize me under "most -likely-to-be-found-near-swindlers/free shows'. Yes, i will poke head shamelessly to watch free street fights, even if it means booking a seat in the heat of the action. I will be loitering around the person distributing freebies on the walkways. And of course, i will looking on in disbelief at the soothsayers' makeshift stalls, clicking my tongue (like a lizard) at what they're saying, but still listening to every word.

However, I swear by the graves of all the people I love; I did not (and will not) at any time in my short (or lengthy) existence on earth, participate in the hello kitty craze.

But you know what?!

Let me tell you!!!!

I’m soooo angry! Bitterly disappointed and head bangingly ANGRY!

That because all the cinemas that are showcasing this film is playing it in the blardy, freaking wee hours of the morning. At best, show times start at 11++pm.

SICKENING!!

Might as well don’t show lor.

CB.

CCB.

NB.

NNBCCB.

I don’t live near orchard. Or any where near the orchard stretch - my father is not LKY ok?

I have no car - my mother is not part of the Tan Cheong Empire.

Ross will most definitely not watch this show with me. He’s, well, let’s just put it this way: he’s not very receptive to broadcasting alternative lifestyles.

My pockets will hate me for taking a cab back home - I've tried to water and tend to them lovingly, but still nothing grows within.

My brother will nag at me for coming home late. My sensory organs are all in perfect working order, no matter how facially challenged i may be.

I don’t like staying out that late either. I'm seriously a homebody at heart. Good girl wor..!!!

That’s why I’ll most probably be getting the DVD instead. So come on! Release the damn thing fast!

I am still intent of watching this movie...!!

Else i'll throw away whatever shred of respect i have for IP rights and bob on down to a pararell distributor (wink wink). I mean it...!!!

Tales From The Dark Side

I think fairy tales are downright disgusting. So are the brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen and the likes of them. Their tales spread nothing but superficial hypocritical views of racist, sexist, chauvinistic and all the other stupidity men can think of.

Evidence A
Beautiful Women = Damsels in distress
(ala Snow White, Rapunzel)

Message :
Beautiful women are ditsy chicks whom are unable to get themselves out of shit.

Truth :
All women worth saving must be beautiful. You need to learn that ugly women should just rot and blame fate on the shortchanging of physical attributes. Thus, the heightened rush for all things skinny and more, more, more PLASTIC SURGERY.

And hey man, Rapunzel is one dumbass. Why the hell does she repeatedly allow the witch to climb up her hair if that was the only way up the tower? Couldn’t she just cut her own stupid hair and make a rope to climb off to freedom? I mean, imagine all the tugging and weight on the roots. She should have gone blardy bald from all that.

Yun Nan should make her ambassador.

Evidence B
All princes are good looking and have damn nice rides.
(ala Snow White, Rapenzel again!)

Message :
Only handsome men with pimped out rides are capable of saving young maidens in trouble.

Truth:
Please....!

Let me point out that the prince in Snow White’s story was sickly into necrophilia.

Hey, for gawd’s sake! He kissed a freaking corpse! Hellooooooooo.. didn’t anyone notice that Snow White was deemed dead?! Which parent in their right mind would encourage such behavior?! And talk about morning breath.

PUKES.

Colgate, take note.

Evidence C
Some fairy gawd-mother of other nice (even though dirty or wild) animal(s) will help rectify shitty fate and bring you to a life of riches.
(ala Cinderella, Puss In Boots)

Message :
You never have to clear your own mess or end up poor if you’re good looking.

Truth :
Again, a load of BS, fertile enough to fertilize deserts.

Get this in your head.

There are no such things as fairy gawd-mothers that will wave their wands and turn a pumpkin into a carriage, or mice into servants.

And if you do encounter talking animals, especially cats that walk on two legs instead of all fours, I strongly recommend a quick trip down to a psychiatrist and a direct admission into the loony bin.

Nothing in this world is ever free. Success only comes with hard work.

Evidence D
All bad, evil people are ugly.
(ala the big, bad wolf in a multiple of series; Cinderella)

Message :
You can tell a person’s character just by their looks. Hideously fugly? Must be 100% bad.

Truth :
Beautiful people can, and are known to be just as bad.

How can parents and the general public have the cheek to disseminate such rubbish?

Why can’t the wicked step-sisters be drop dead gorgeous slutty whores that you see on the rampage all over tele and in real life?

Just look at MTV’s ‘My sweet sixteen’. They're rich (but not neccessarily pretty). Though most have nice looking, if not just as lame friends.

Or the cheerleaders in all those American soaps.
Gimme a whatever-whatever-whenever!

Trust me. I watch too much tele. I know what I’m talking about.

Evidence E
Ugly people are ugly because they are cursed
(ala The Frog Prince, Beauty And The Beast)

Message :
Ugly people can turn into beautiful, celestial beings with just a mere kiss from another good looking counterpart.

Truth :
People…. I’m bleeding from my orifices here.

Let’s get real.

Ugly people will stay ugly, unless they go for some intense plastic surgery. And that doesn’t guarantee success. Check out the ‘after’ pics of those in ‘Extreme Makeover’. Yeesh...!

Unless you go Korea/Japan/Thailand and check out the work they have there. Then that would be another ending! Harisu…!!

Evidence F
Stealing from/making use of ugly people is alright

(ala Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, The Billy Goats Gruff)

Messsage :

You don't have to keep your word to ugly people.

Truth :
It's not ok.

In fact, its downright despicable to make use of others (to spin straw into gold), promising them the world (or in this case, firstborn), earlier agreed upon before imminent death, then feigning selective amnesia when payment is due.

Or stealing from monsters. Nevermind the goose that lays the golden eggs belong to them. You want it. Steal it. Just churn a tale that the monster/giant/ugly thing was the one who stole it from someone else. Hey, why not go a step further and kill them if they want their own stuff back?

And yes, it's perfectly alright to lie. To ogers, trolls, anything ugly! And yes, again here, their lives are worth peanuts. Feel free to torture or kill them!

You can put that under 'death by wit' instead of murder, get away with it, and be celebrated all at the same time.

What is the moral of my story?

Magic should be contained in religious texts. Leave the prophets to feed the thousands, raise the dead and turn water into wine.

Snap back into reality and impart real values to the children of tomorrow.

Pigs are not stupid – they don’t build houses! Period.
Wolves are not evil – it’s called the chain of survival.
Women have brains.

Men can get themselves into trouble too.
Not all ugly people are bad.
Not all pretty faces are good.

You should not kiss anyone or anything dead.

And most importantly, a lone woman (attention to the one named Snow White) should never, I repeat, NEVER live in a shack in the wilderness with 7 (yes, 7) men she knows nuts about. What makes you think those dwarves don’t have desires?! Helloooooo… out in the woods.. 7 men… single, waif.. beauty beyond compare…

They’re men. They have penises. They’re not gay. Bisexual to ease the tension I would presume, but with a woman around… hey man.. who’s going to refuse fresh meat?!

I rest my case.

It must be with stories like these that encourage the youth of today to trust all those online molesters so easily – You can be easily raped by those nasty 7.

Even if they’re dwarves.

Blardy fools.

And if you must know, my fave fairytale is 'The Little Mermaid' and that's because of unrequitted love and the fact that she DIES in the end. Yes, i'm no Disney fanatic =)

THE SHARPEST LIVES - My Chemical Romance

Well it rains and it pours

When you're out on your own

If I crash on the couch

Can I sleep in my clothes?

'Cause I've spent the night dancing

I'm drunk, I suppose

If it looks like I'm laughing

I'm really just asking to leave

This alone, you're in time for the show

You're the one that I need

I'm the one that you loathe

You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose

'Cause I love all the poison

Away with the boys in the band

I've really been on a bender and it shows

So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember

And you can take all the pain away from me

A kiss and I will surrender

The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead

A light to burn all the empires

So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be

In love with all of these vampires

So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

There's a place in the dark where the animals go

You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow

Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands

Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo

I've really been on a bender and it shows

So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember

And you can take all the pain away from me

A kiss and I will surrender

The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead

A light to burn all the empires

So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be

In love with all of these vampires

So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

[x2]

The Sharpest Lives