Tales From The Dark Side
I think fairy tales are downright disgusting. So are the brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen and the likes of them. Their tales spread nothing but superficial hypocritical views of racist, sexist, chauvinistic and all the other stupidity men can think of.
Evidence A
Beautiful Women = Damsels in distress
(ala Snow White, Rapunzel)
Message :
Beautiful women are ditsy chicks whom are unable to get themselves out of shit.
Truth :
All women worth saving must be beautiful. You need to learn that ugly women should just rot and blame fate on the shortchanging of physical attributes. Thus, the heightened rush for all things skinny and more, more, more PLASTIC SURGERY.
And hey man, Rapunzel is one dumbass. Why the hell does she repeatedly allow the witch to climb up her hair if that was the only way up the tower? Couldn’t she just cut her own stupid hair and make a rope to climb off to freedom? I mean, imagine all the tugging and weight on the roots. She should have gone blardy bald from all that.
Evidence A
Beautiful Women = Damsels in distress
(ala Snow White, Rapunzel)
Message :
Beautiful women are ditsy chicks whom are unable to get themselves out of shit.
Truth :
All women worth saving must be beautiful. You need to learn that ugly women should just rot and blame fate on the shortchanging of physical attributes. Thus, the heightened rush for all things skinny and more, more, more PLASTIC SURGERY.
And hey man, Rapunzel is one dumbass. Why the hell does she repeatedly allow the witch to climb up her hair if that was the only way up the tower? Couldn’t she just cut her own stupid hair and make a rope to climb off to freedom? I mean, imagine all the tugging and weight on the roots. She should have gone blardy bald from all that.
Yun Nan should make her ambassador.
Evidence B
All princes are good looking and have damn nice rides.
(ala Snow White, Rapenzel again!)
Message :
Only handsome men with pimped out rides are capable of saving young maidens in trouble.
Truth:
Please....!
Let me point out that the prince in Snow White’s story was sickly into necrophilia.
Hey, for gawd’s sake! He kissed a freaking corpse! Hellooooooooo.. didn’t anyone notice that Snow White was deemed dead?! Which parent in their right mind would encourage such behavior?! And talk about morning breath.
PUKES.
Evidence B
All princes are good looking and have damn nice rides.
(ala Snow White, Rapenzel again!)
Message :
Only handsome men with pimped out rides are capable of saving young maidens in trouble.
Truth:
Please....!
Let me point out that the prince in Snow White’s story was sickly into necrophilia.
Hey, for gawd’s sake! He kissed a freaking corpse! Hellooooooooo.. didn’t anyone notice that Snow White was deemed dead?! Which parent in their right mind would encourage such behavior?! And talk about morning breath.
PUKES.
Colgate, take note.
Evidence C
Some fairy gawd-mother of other nice (even though dirty or wild) animal(s) will help rectify shitty fate and bring you to a life of riches.
(ala Cinderella, Puss In Boots)
Message :
You never have to clear your own mess or end up poor if you’re good looking.
Truth :
Again, a load of BS, fertile enough to fertilize deserts.
Get this in your head.
There are no such things as fairy gawd-mothers that will wave their wands and turn a pumpkin into a carriage, or mice into servants.
And if you do encounter talking animals, especially cats that walk on two legs instead of all fours, I strongly recommend a quick trip down to a psychiatrist and a direct admission into the loony bin.
Nothing in this world is ever free. Success only comes with hard work.
Evidence D
All bad, evil people are ugly.
(ala the big, bad wolf in a multiple of series; Cinderella)
Message :
You can tell a person’s character just by their looks. Hideously fugly? Must be 100% bad.
Truth :
Beautiful people can, and are known to be just as bad.
How can parents and the general public have the cheek to disseminate such rubbish?
Why can’t the wicked step-sisters be drop dead gorgeous slutty whores that you see on the rampage all over tele and in real life?
Just look at MTV’s ‘My sweet sixteen’. They're rich (but not neccessarily pretty). Though most have nice looking, if not just as lame friends.
Or the cheerleaders in all those American soaps.
Gimme a whatever-whatever-whenever!
Trust me. I watch too much tele. I know what I’m talking about.
Evidence E
Ugly people are ugly because they are cursed
(ala The Frog Prince, Beauty And The Beast)
Message :
Ugly people can turn into beautiful, celestial beings with just a mere kiss from another good looking counterpart.
Truth :
People…. I’m bleeding from my orifices here.
Let’s get real.
Ugly people will stay ugly, unless they go for some intense plastic surgery. And that doesn’t guarantee success. Check out the ‘after’ pics of those in ‘Extreme Makeover’. Yeesh...!
Unless you go Korea/Japan/Thailand and check out the work they have there. Then that would be another ending! Harisu…!!
Evidence C
Some fairy gawd-mother of other nice (even though dirty or wild) animal(s) will help rectify shitty fate and bring you to a life of riches.
(ala Cinderella, Puss In Boots)
Message :
You never have to clear your own mess or end up poor if you’re good looking.
Truth :
Again, a load of BS, fertile enough to fertilize deserts.
Get this in your head.
There are no such things as fairy gawd-mothers that will wave their wands and turn a pumpkin into a carriage, or mice into servants.
And if you do encounter talking animals, especially cats that walk on two legs instead of all fours, I strongly recommend a quick trip down to a psychiatrist and a direct admission into the loony bin.
Nothing in this world is ever free. Success only comes with hard work.
Evidence D
All bad, evil people are ugly.
(ala the big, bad wolf in a multiple of series; Cinderella)
Message :
You can tell a person’s character just by their looks. Hideously fugly? Must be 100% bad.
Truth :
Beautiful people can, and are known to be just as bad.
How can parents and the general public have the cheek to disseminate such rubbish?
Why can’t the wicked step-sisters be drop dead gorgeous slutty whores that you see on the rampage all over tele and in real life?
Just look at MTV’s ‘My sweet sixteen’. They're rich (but not neccessarily pretty). Though most have nice looking, if not just as lame friends.
Or the cheerleaders in all those American soaps.
Gimme a whatever-whatever-whenever!
Trust me. I watch too much tele. I know what I’m talking about.
Evidence E
Ugly people are ugly because they are cursed
(ala The Frog Prince, Beauty And The Beast)
Message :
Ugly people can turn into beautiful, celestial beings with just a mere kiss from another good looking counterpart.
Truth :
People…. I’m bleeding from my orifices here.
Let’s get real.
Ugly people will stay ugly, unless they go for some intense plastic surgery. And that doesn’t guarantee success. Check out the ‘after’ pics of those in ‘Extreme Makeover’. Yeesh...!
Unless you go Korea/Japan/Thailand and check out the work they have there. Then that would be another ending! Harisu…!!
Evidence F
Stealing from/making use of ugly people is alright
Stealing from/making use of ugly people is alright
(ala Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, The Billy Goats Gruff)
Messsage :
Messsage :
You don't have to keep your word to ugly people.
Truth :
It's not ok.
In fact, its downright despicable to make use of others (to spin straw into gold), promising them the world (or in this case, firstborn), earlier agreed upon before imminent death, then feigning selective amnesia when payment is due.
It's not ok.
In fact, its downright despicable to make use of others (to spin straw into gold), promising them the world (or in this case, firstborn), earlier agreed upon before imminent death, then feigning selective amnesia when payment is due.
Or stealing from monsters. Nevermind the goose that lays the golden eggs belong to them. You want it. Steal it. Just churn a tale that the monster/giant/ugly thing was the one who stole it from someone else. Hey, why not go a step further and kill them if they want their own stuff back?
And yes, it's perfectly alright to lie. To ogers, trolls, anything ugly! And yes, again here, their lives are worth peanuts. Feel free to torture or kill them!
You can put that under 'death by wit' instead of murder, get away with it, and be celebrated all at the same time.
What is the moral of my story?
Magic should be contained in religious texts. Leave the prophets to feed the thousands, raise the dead and turn water into wine.
Snap back into reality and impart real values to the children of tomorrow.
Pigs are not stupid – they don’t build houses! Period.
Wolves are not evil – it’s called the chain of survival.
Women have brains.
What is the moral of my story?
Magic should be contained in religious texts. Leave the prophets to feed the thousands, raise the dead and turn water into wine.
Snap back into reality and impart real values to the children of tomorrow.
Pigs are not stupid – they don’t build houses! Period.
Wolves are not evil – it’s called the chain of survival.
Women have brains.
Men can get themselves into trouble too.
Not all ugly people are bad.
Not all pretty faces are good.
Not all ugly people are bad.
Not all pretty faces are good.
You should not kiss anyone or anything dead.
And most importantly, a lone woman (attention to the one named Snow White) should never, I repeat, NEVER live in a shack in the wilderness with 7 (yes, 7) men she knows nuts about. What makes you think those dwarves don’t have desires?! Helloooooo… out in the woods.. 7 men… single, waif.. beauty beyond compare…
They’re men. They have penises. They’re not gay. Bisexual to ease the tension I would presume, but with a woman around… hey man.. who’s going to refuse fresh meat?!
And most importantly, a lone woman (attention to the one named Snow White) should never, I repeat, NEVER live in a shack in the wilderness with 7 (yes, 7) men she knows nuts about. What makes you think those dwarves don’t have desires?! Helloooooo… out in the woods.. 7 men… single, waif.. beauty beyond compare…
They’re men. They have penises. They’re not gay. Bisexual to ease the tension I would presume, but with a woman around… hey man.. who’s going to refuse fresh meat?!
I rest my case.
It must be with stories like these that encourage the youth of today to trust all those online molesters so easily – You can be easily raped by those nasty 7.
It must be with stories like these that encourage the youth of today to trust all those online molesters so easily – You can be easily raped by those nasty 7.
Even if they’re dwarves.
Blardy fools.
Blardy fools.
And if you must know, my fave fairytale is 'The Little Mermaid' and that's because of unrequitted love and the fact that she DIES in the end. Yes, i'm no Disney fanatic =)
