Warning Signs
People should come with warning labels, stuck prominently onto the forehead.
Then at least the whole world will be justly notified.
The warning should also include a diagram and be color coded, in Braille and even an auditory function, just to cover the entire living population. For tree huggers, an alternative solar powered one will be available.
There should be laws to enforce mandatory display of such warnings. And hefty fines for flouters and those who display the inappropriate signs. Everyone will have a bag of signs to carry around. I bet my fat ass it will make the world a much better place.
With such clear warnings, it would be near impossible for people to misinterpret each other.
It will be the death of mixed signals.
Some examples include :
“I’m so not in the mood” Warning
Obviously suited for those in the mood, this sign will provide a clear and definite signal to people so they can be quick to avoid the owner. It’s a reliable substitute for the retro “Palm in the face” aka “Talk to my hand” Technique.
“I’m lying through my teeth” Warning
Worthy for any unrepentant liar. Availabel in a cheeky "Truth Twister" for the language enhanced and a politically (in)correct version for politicians and G. Bush.
“I honestly love you” Warning
For love struck doves. Also comes with a “Really Really, so psycho in love” attachment and blinking heart add-ons for wannabe stalkers and admirers.
“Born without EQ” Warning
A must for all rude and irritating specimens roaming the earth. Comes complete with a plastic shield in front to block spit, among other rubbish that may be hurled at the owner.
“Caution : Menses” Warning
For all to behold, a requirement by law to invoke adherence just before, during menses or at any time hormonal imbalance may be suspected. Applicable to both male and female. Cause we ALL understand and have experienced men having equal or worse episodes to rival any self respecting woman shedding their womb lining.
“Emo” Warning
A generalized warning for bouts of crying and acute loss of emotional control.
And lastly, an “I’m not interested in you like that” Warning
Eligible for everyone whom has experienced the pain of unrequited love.
The warning should also include a diagram and be color coded, in Braille and even an auditory function, just to cover the entire living population. For tree huggers, an alternative solar powered one will be available.
There should be laws to enforce mandatory display of such warnings. And hefty fines for flouters and those who display the inappropriate signs. Everyone will have a bag of signs to carry around. I bet my fat ass it will make the world a much better place.
With such clear warnings, it would be near impossible for people to misinterpret each other.
It will be the death of mixed signals.
Some examples include :
“I’m so not in the mood” Warning
Obviously suited for those in the mood, this sign will provide a clear and definite signal to people so they can be quick to avoid the owner. It’s a reliable substitute for the retro “Palm in the face” aka “Talk to my hand” Technique.
“I’m lying through my teeth” Warning
Worthy for any unrepentant liar. Availabel in a cheeky "Truth Twister" for the language enhanced and a politically (in)correct version for politicians and G. Bush.
“I honestly love you” Warning
For love struck doves. Also comes with a “Really Really, so psycho in love” attachment and blinking heart add-ons for wannabe stalkers and admirers.
“Born without EQ” Warning
A must for all rude and irritating specimens roaming the earth. Comes complete with a plastic shield in front to block spit, among other rubbish that may be hurled at the owner.
“Caution : Menses” Warning
For all to behold, a requirement by law to invoke adherence just before, during menses or at any time hormonal imbalance may be suspected. Applicable to both male and female. Cause we ALL understand and have experienced men having equal or worse episodes to rival any self respecting woman shedding their womb lining.
“Emo” Warning
A generalized warning for bouts of crying and acute loss of emotional control.
And lastly, an “I’m not interested in you like that” Warning
Eligible for everyone whom has experienced the pain of unrequited love.
PS – the “Love me back or I will die” warning should be banned at all cost, as that constitutes emotional blackmail.
However, it will pay to take note that the abovementioned list is not exhaustive. There will always be a place for "Gold Digger", "Cheap Slut", "Super ACT Cute" etc.
