I had the opportunity to spend some time with Candy and Lydia the other day. I had to wile time away during the long break on wednesday.

A long, agonizing 6hr break.

I joined them in the library to study. The lovely ladies printed out the past year exam questions for me. I'm glad to have joined them. Simply because i have never remembered having much opportunities to mingle with these people before.

And after a mind numbing (though short) session of revision, we started to talk. Candy posed a question to me - 'Eh cheryl, are you close to your patients?'

Reflecting, i can't say i am. Neither can i say i'm not. I do love them. Even though some can really get on my nerves with their drama. But i do care. And it's hard not to form bonds with someone when you're feeding them, cleaning them and spending so much of your time with them. Day after day. And i hate the goodbyes. Ask anyone that has ever worked with me.

It's like being a babysitter. You do so much, and then they leave. All that's left is an empty bed to remind me of a friendship that used to be.

Heartache Vs Happiness.

But exactly how much do they know about me? On one hand, it's a one way friendship. Superificial in a sense, simply because i'm still walled up whereas they're exposing themselves. They confide in me, i listen. I don't really divulge much about myself. We crack jokes about life, we gossip about the other nurses, we bitch about others. And sometimes, tell me their life stories, like how they met their spouses, wars they've been through, share secret recipes, how disappointing children can be, or simply how afraid of death they are.

The uncertainty of Life Vs The freedom that death brings

And on the other hand, its a deep relationship that focuses on the current day-to-day activities, with no emphasis on past or future. Only the present counts. To hell with the past. Each day is a blessing by itself.

But i guess the best judge of whether i'm liked is the patient themselves.

And for some friendships, i've allowed it to be taken out of the boundaries of the hospitals and into the real world. Some have slowly erased away, whereas others continue, their lives merging with the daily actitivies of mine.