LIFE LESSONS

Sharon Lee’s granny is dangerously ill. Her days are spent in a hospice, accompanied by on and off visits by the medical team and relatives.

We all understand that these are her last days.

Death comes to us all.

With the fiscal year drawing to a close, it is the busiest time for Sharon’s company and there is tons of work for her to finish. My dear friend has been keeping busy with working the nights online (just to keep in line with the time difference in the US) to rectify drafts, proposals and program glitches; juggling the needs of her work and the responsibility she feels towards her granny.

She shuttles between the hospice and home, taking whatever opportunity to spend a little time to make her granny feel loved. In turn, she manages only about 3-4hrs of sleep, so much so, it’s taking a toll on her own health.

The fragility of life is not selective. Even young children are not spared.

Today, Ross informed me that little 2 year old Ryan has been struck with Kawasaki’s disease.

Kawasaki’s Disease :
First described by Tomisaku Kawasaki in 1967, it is a rare illness that involves the inflammation of the blood vessels, mucus membranes, lymph nodes and the heart.

If treatment is sought in the early stages, the child may be able to make a full recovery. However, 10-15% of the children still manifest complications and can succumb to cardiac arrest or ruptured aneurysms (developed in the acute stages of disease) later on in life.

Signs & Symptoms include :
- Prolonged, persistent fever (at least 5 days) often unresponsive to antibiotics
- Changes in extremities (ie. Erythema, desquamation, edema)
- Bilateral Conjunctivitis
- Cervical Lymphadenopathy (usually unilateral)
- Changes in the oral cavity (ie. Strawberry tongue, bleeding)

I’m begging anybody and everybody reading this to SEND YOUR CHILD TO A PAEDATRICIAN IMMEDIATELY if you notice these signs. A simple GP/family doctor simply will not suffice.

You need to march down to a specialist.

In the conservative Asian culture, death and illness is often dealt in a hush-hush manner. Most of the time, it is considered taboo and avoided at all costs. It definitely isn’t easily to encourage accepting the last days or recognizing disease when the negative connotations have been so deeply entrenched in our Asian values.

In truth, we are all afraid of dying.

I guess there is never a brave front in the aspect of death. Suddenly, faced with our own humanity, the people that surround us become more difficult to pull away from. We start to feel the aches that morph into pain as our bodies shut down. And we may even start to reminisce about days of yonder and the deeds that have come to past.

The past haunts the present.

We fail to acknowledge the fact that the moment we enter this world, we are aware that the counter starts ticking. This life is never permanent.

We will all die someday.

Though some people die more easily then others. More often then not, it is in the end days that we remember our Maker. The premise of eternal life in an alternate location is often perhaps the only thing we can hold onto.

As strange as it sounds, I do not hanker after immortality. This notion of eternal life does not appeal to me. I find my heaven in everyday moments. The time I spend with my family, the time I share with my friends, the love that is abound suffices.

What good is there without trial and tribulation? It has been this life that has allowed me to recognize the goodness within the people in my life. And it is these people that have given me the strength to carry on.

I’m thankful for everything that has happened to make me what I am today. If I’m still young, I’d like to have the courage to battle illness. Should I be elderly, and settled much of my responsibilities, I’d like to have the courage to let go and die with dignity. I cannot imagine myself hooked up to a ventilator. I believe it would be psychologically too painful and financially too stressful for the people that matter most.

Hopefully, I’d be able to complete my tasks and leave no room for regrets. I’d like my last days to be joyous, where people celebrate the life that is having its curtain drawn to closure. It will be a moment where I can say to Him that I’m ready to move onto a different level, where ever and whatever it may be.

I want to donate every organ available for use, to offer others a chance to live. This shell should have some use even in death. It would be great to know that a part of me lives on, no matter what.

In the genes of my children, and past on for generations after. Perhaps they’d even inherit a little of my traits? Or in a stranger so he or she buys some time to live life as I have?

No one dies without leaving a mark. Without a doubt, their memory lives on forever.

This post is dedicated to everyone that I’ve crossed paths with. We may not know it, but each impacts my life in more ways then one. Time can dilute the intensity of the loss, but it will never erase the moments that we’ve shared.

And i'm rooting for Granny Lee and little Ryan.

I see the strength and courage aglow in their faces.

[ My everyday hereos ]