Action Potential

Akin to an avalanche set in motion, 2010 brought along a myriad of challenges. Once again, I find myself standing at crossroads, with choices urgent and beckoning beyond the horizon.

Certain choices are harder and more painful, whereas some appear absurdly straightforward and simple. However, all choices require me to face consequences squarely. Breathe.

Some like to comment that people change. I’d like to ask who doesn’t. I’m not the wide-eyed 16 year old flipping burgers in the fast food restaurant, nor am I the same as what I am 5 minutes ago.

Just like the earth is round, life revolves.

Not around one singular entity, like a person or possession because life’s much more than that. Biologically, I’m transforming. My neurons are dying and whatever left is desperately trying to establish new connections. Psychologically, my emotions are riding the waves brought about by hormones or an over-stimulating environment. Hoho..

So whether people care to admit or deny, we’re all changing.

Life, in all its complex strata, encompasses experiences that empower if we look beyond ourselves. The path of life at times covered with pebbles can morph into mountains. Each obstacle presents itself with perspectives only we, ourself can control. It boils down to choice.

You can choose to live. Or wallow.

People drift in and out of lives. No doubt all leave footprints behind that impart special lessons especially for me. However, I’ve no interest in people who mop around, dragging their feet in the sands of pity.

I’m due to graduate in just under 4 months. In retrospect, alongside my classmates, we’ve ploughed through ICAs, bio, multiple essays, presentations and even managed to showcase my acting chops in the counseling vid to snag grades that stretch into a smile. As I ready myself for the upcoming finals and the fact that I’ll soon bid school (another) fond farewell, there’s the apprehension of returning to work and what the future may bring.

I’ve no regrets in entering this course. Opportunities seldom repeat itself. Despite the bombardment of assorted assignments, the golden opportunity to learn always sparkles. What I’ve learnt thus far is actually how little I actually know about nursing and it is in fact, rather scary.

I hope my hands carry my patients a little stronger once I’m back by their side.

In this last leg of the journey, I’m cramming whatever I can before I return to the wards. I’m grateful that attachments (no matter how shitty they can be at times) exposed me to different locations alongside their cultural idiosyncrasies.

It's been a priviledge.

Hopefully, I’d be able to reward myself at the end of this tumultuous journey =)

anyone game for walking amongst the clouds?!

Almost Over

After a long hiatus from blogging, I’m glad to throw myself into the throngs of the keyboard and allow emotion to be explained in words.

Ah.. such cathartic bliss

The past month saw a whirlwind of events.
Attachment. Presentations. ICAs. Human dynamics. Money.

There were good memories of makan sessions with family and friends. Like when Leni met Stick Insect and I for dinner at Crystal Jade over in a corner of Orchard Central. Food was cheap and good, with excellent company!

I also enjoyed the outing with Deeva, Su + Rams and of course, Stick Insect! Gorging ourselves silly over in Wheelock and bickering over comparisons between Korea and Japan, bitching about everybody’s fave man, Shu Ger aka "Sugaaaah" (Brother Shu) and just letting the imagination run amok was such a great bonding experience.

School also gave me the opportunity to tour several local nursing homes and care centers, allowing me a glimpse of all the back breaking effort required to keep these places running. Salutes! I especially enjoyed touring Pertapis and Lion’s NH..!

It also opened my eyes to see how much my classmates and Ms Joan actually love the elderly. I can only hope when I’m old, I get nurses like them to look after me.

And Sharon Lee and BF are back. Well, were back. They set off for Australia earlier in the evening. Fortunately, I managed to wish her bon voyage before her journey. I’ve known Sharon Lee for more then half my life. And undoubtedly, like all friendships, ours have been not without rough waters. But I’m glad at the end of the day, we manage to settle our differences and salvage what we hold dear. Each other.

In hindsight, I’m unsure of whether age has brought about my raging hormones. I cry so easily these days. My tear ducts are on hyperdrive. Angry, cry. Sad, cry. Laugh also can cry. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. My tear ducts were once bone dry, you know!

And I do not think menopause will strike me this soon. Will it?!

Though besides the good times, December also brought on the cataclysmic revelation on the health status of a loved one. It also saw a series of never-ending events resurface to implicate me in drama that I am not responsible for.

In a moment of severe duress, I asked Ross why such events befall me. He’s answer was stark and simple : “you’ve been given the opportunity to learn patience.”

Trust Ross to match hideous situations with opportunities to “learn”. And as much as would like to have slapped his mouth with a slipper, his words echo a strange reminder to exercise self control in situations that may not necessarily go our way.

Lastly, in line with wrapping up another great year, I thank the Lord for my life. And I pray for strength to remember Him always.

www.3logysingapore.blogspot.com

fantastic beyond words!

Satiated

You believe a man can change his destiny?
I believe a man does all he can until his destiny is revealed.

Earlier this evening, channel 5 replayed “The Last Samurai”. Minus off the bad interpretation of Asians with the persistently thick Japanese-accented dialogue and you’re left with a pretty good storyline.

And yes, I adore Ken Watanabe. I think he’s so MAN. THE man. The perfect face of a gentleman warrior. MY ultimate samurai hero in the movie. But I sure wouldn't want him to really be a samurai... errr.. because I read that they practiced shudo which are against my moral ethics. But that's another story!

I am an old woman. I have every right to oogle at old men.

The misinterpreted protagonists within run in little circles for what they perceive to be at the heart of their existence. We can mock them for their apparent stupidity but we should question; given the same circumstances, environment and way of life, would we end up at the same point?

Essentially, it is a poignant tale of how greed manipulates the meek weak willed. Propelled by what they believe as anomalies in appearances, the ignorant justifies the use of violence by labeling the other party as a threat.

However, when stripped of its façade; No matter what color, race, gender, age, health status or religion you possess, beneath all, red blood flows. We all experience hunger when we don’t eat, cry when sadness overwhelms and smile at the faces of the people we love.

Perhaps the only difference lies in the intensity in which we feel.

You can be bitter about the wars and the suffering that history has dealt, but when you recognize we are but pawns in this propaganda scandal, you’ll know better then to allow yourself to be embroiled in the whole debate.

People were simple minded back then.

Will you allow yourself to tread that same path?
It’s your choice.

And parallel to the storyline in the movie, adversity breeds courage. It’s ironic that we need such drastic events to stir otherwise dormant courage. And like many of life’s great lessons, we learn through defeat.

You learn to pick yourself after you fall.

A friend (Zul) once said something so miraculously clever its been burnt into memory…

"And sometimes things happen to me at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection I realized that without overcoming those obstacles I would have never realized my potential, strength, will power or heart.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless."