WOVEN

I lost another friend recently. Life in the ward can be mind-blowingly depressing. Speaking to her siblings with tears streaming down their faces, I tried my best to detach the emotions and finish the paperwork that had to be done.

It’s getting easier to stop the tears.

But is that what I really want? No.

I recognize the possibility of being jaded, to be numb to the emotions that stir so vehemently within the confines of these walls.

Sometimes I wonder how Fats can be so nonchalant to the needs of those under her care. But I am not Fats. And I thank God for the inherent difference.

Not only in size, but also in hygiene. Wahahaa.. ok, I’m digressing, but I do pray I will never be like her. I don’t wish to be so stone hearted and forget that people do have feelings and that the things I do actually matter.

On the basis of a positive feedback mechanism, it feels good to be appreciated. Knowing the things I do actually make a difference in people’s life. It doesn’t matter if they pen it down on paper or give me tokens. It’s the heartfelt handshake and the sincerity in the eyes that impact the most.

Even Pokka tea carries sentimental value.

Knowing people care enough to do what they do. Thank you Lord. For a tight F4, for a preceptor that has become a permanent fixture, for Ah Chow's words of kindness, for compliments, for lessons learnt and experiences earned.

For an opportunity on the upcomming 28th May.

People come and people go. Long after they leave, I still find myself thinking about them. Hopefully, when I lie in death’s embrace, I will be surrounded by people that love me for who I am and what I’ve done, rather then alone.

But perhaps just a nurse who will hold my hand and sing to me would suffice.

How some people can roam people’s houses without underwear is truly baffling. I really don’t see the need to have your nipples staring at me. Thank you very much. Old wives tales have predicted my eyelids to swell up with pus in direct relation to the amount of porn I have to eyeball these days.

Woman (and You!!)! Have you no shame?!

Has your DNA mutated to an unknown extent, such that comfort overrides embarrassment?

FACT : The only boobies I ever want to see are my own.

My eyes should not be enduring your lovey dovey throngs of affection or coos of admiration. I see enough shit on the MRT. And I don’t appreciate replays at home. Only do things that should see the light of day in front of people. Please.

Hugs are good. Hand on breast is fucking not.

I don’t need to witness these pornographic exhibitions.

I’m not exhibiting jealousy at your ability to find a mate. I’m safeguarding my right to privacy in my own home together with the right to rest these weary eyeballs.

There is such a thing as self respect.

You are a guest. So you should, to put it bluntly, behave like one. And one should be wise to adhere to the logic of not overstaying one’s welcome.

“Like milk, guests turn sour after 3 days”

Although I appreciate your kindness to clean my house, it really isn’t necessary. Seriously, I’m able to live with a mountain of dust. I’m just not very able to live with you.

I wish you every luck to find your happiness. And may you find it this time.

And to you, her partner in crime. Do your shit outside.

I want my home back.

Cherlosophy’s Playlist

1. Umbrella – Marie Digby
2. Way Back Into Love – Hayley Bennet Ft Hugh Grant
3. Always Be My Baby – David Cook
4. Love Song – Sarah Bareilles
5. Raindrops On My Guitar – Taylor Swift
6. Sorry – Buck Cherry
7. With You – Chris Brown
8. Waiting On the World – John Mayer
9. One – U2
10. Nessun Dorma – Paul Potts
11. I Loved You – Sarah Brightman
12. It’s Not Over - Daughtry
13. Who Said – Miley Cyrus
14. Innocent – David Cook
15. Day Tripper – David Cook
16. The Trooper – Children Of Bodom
17. Fear Of The Dark – Iron Maiden
18. Wasted Years – Iced Earth
19. Shhhh – Saosin
20. Gimme Gimme - Britney Spears

Innocent - David Cook

Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain and a guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul

I remember feeling low
And I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

Oh, and Gina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose; every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful

I remember feeling low
And I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go, no
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own, yeah
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

One day
(We are, we are all innocent)
You'll have to let it go
(We are all innocent)
You'll have to let it go, no
(We are, we are)
One day
(We are, we are all innocent)
You'll stand up on your own
(We are all innocent)
You'll stand up on your own, yeah
(We are, we are)

We are, we are all innocent