Tuesday, November 06, 2007


Granny Lee passed away this morning.

She led a good life, leaving behind a bounty of people who loved her dearly. In her youth, Granny Lee fought hard to raise 4 children with her 2 hands after separating from her husband. She tried every respectable job available, just to feed hungry mouths not only belonging to her own family, but also those anyone who came to her in need.
Such benevolence beyond comprehension.

She taught her children the importance of education and family ties; thus ensuring them an independent life upon maturity. And in turn, they grew to have a deep respect for her.

She taught me the meaning of forgiveness; alongside the art of letting go.
And gave me such a wonderful gift in the form of Sharon.

I pray wherever she may be, she will be happy.
Memories that continue beyond tomorrow.

On a lighter note, I think the masses need and/or want to be updated on the Gary Saga.

On Friday, F4 minus 1, decided to meet up for lunch since Kristabel and I had to attend the symposium and Mokie was on the afternoon shift. We went to visit Lao Lao in her ‘prison’ and ended up chatting away quite merrily with her, wishing her a speedy recovery and helping to clear the fruits in her cell. She insisted we watch the infotainment channel on Fall Precaution and other crap.

Goodness.

I took the initiative to invite Gary to join us for lunch. At first, he gave a vague reply, ‘I’ll try to join if I’m not busy’. But yes, Cheryl is fond of having her own way. I told him to MAKE time.

End of story.

But Lao Lao’s visit went into overdrive and we ended up turning up late for the luncheon.

You should have seen Gary’s face when he saw us. He was seriously quite shocked. He was never informed that I would be bringing so many people along. Even Kristabel and Mokie also had to thank their good genes for keeping their eyeballs firmly in their sockets.

It amused me to no end. But hey, that man should thank his lucky stars. He got to lunch in with so many women. But we learnt that Gary is scary! He knows so many things happening in the hospital. And so many people came by to wave to him. Yikes..!

Kristabel got the prized seat in front of Gary, while Mokie got the next best seat in the house of being adjacent. I got the seat next to him. The safest! No need for awkward stares. Mokie acted virginal and just had drinks.

She thinks we’re at a bar.

Kristabel and Gary had some conversation going. A light banter I presume. Then she suddenly pulled a good one on me.

Kristabel : Hey! Derek L! (Points behind me)

Needless to say, I fell for the oldest trick in the book. I turned but no Derek. I returned her the favor though.

I pointed to an Ah Pek and said it was Brian S, just 25yrs older; complete with side comb barcode hair. We giggled like schoolgirls on laughing gas.
Poor Gary sat there, tormented by the childishness of it all.

Today, we met up to go break again. And to think, Destiny would strike again. On our way to the canteen, we bumped into Gary at Block 4. Mr Tam looked sooooooo happy! He only spoke to Kristabel.

I’ve got my eye on you!

If you think the world is small, then let me tell you, the hospital is much smaller.

I met Gary again when he went back to the ward. Him, with his usual cocky swagger. We exchanged greetings in the aisle a couple of times. He even said hello to Maggie. Hur hur hur.
Later in the evening, he tapped the glass divider to say goodbye, making me feel like a fish in an aquarium. I waved goodbye as I frantically finished writing my report. I had to arrange for blood. Feed my patients. Do turnings. Not a good time to entertain him. Maggie was impressed with his friendliness, maybe she wants him too. Wahaha...

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Time's racing with gawd knows who or what.

- 24 super long days to the next pay day
- 377A bullshit debate continues
- Helloween's past

- Sharon Lee has left for the US
- Granny Lee remains in hospice
- Little Ryan has been discharged

- Kristabel went & returned from Bangkok
- Gary went & returned from Taiwan
- Leni is still in Philippines

- Been treated to lunch

- Met up with Deeva, Meiz, Emi
- Met up with Mentor for our monthly makan sessions

- I’ve been both complimented and nagged by Lao Lao
- We have a new mini sized Physiotherapist
- DOM (Dirty Old Man) Red Alert in Ward
- I’ve completed the 5Cs program
- Another talk scheduled tomorrow @2pm
- Ward chalet next fri
- My uniform remains shrunken

- Songs continue to get stuck in my head

I’ll be back in the ward tomorrow.


Waka waka.


Pui.

Natasha Bedingfield - Soul Mate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'Cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soul mate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soul mate for everyone

If there's a soul mate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soul mate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soul mate for everyone
If there's a soul mate for everyone

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


LIFE LESSONS

Sharon Lee’s granny is dangerously ill. Her days are spent in a hospice, accompanied by on and off visits by the medical team and relatives.

We all understand that these are her last days.

Death comes to us all.

With the fiscal year drawing to a close, it is the busiest time for Sharon’s company and there is tons of work for her to finish. My dear friend has been keeping busy with working the nights online (just to keep in line with the time difference in the US) to rectify drafts, proposals and program glitches; juggling the needs of her work and the responsibility she feels towards her granny.

She shuttles between the hospice and home, taking whatever opportunity to spend a little time to make her granny feel loved. In turn, she manages only about 3-4hrs of sleep, so much so, it’s taking a toll on her own health.

The fragility of life is not selective. Even young children are not spared.

Today, Ross informed me that little 2 year old Ryan has been struck with Kawasaki’s disease.

Kawasaki’s Disease :
First described by Tomisaku Kawasaki in 1967, it is a rare illness that involves the inflammation of the blood vessels, mucus membranes, lymph nodes and the heart.

If treatment is sought in the early stages, the child may be able to make a full recovery. However, 10-15% of the children still manifest complications and can succumb to cardiac arrest or ruptured aneurysms (developed in the acute stages of disease) later on in life.

Signs & Symptoms include :

- Prolonged, persistent fever (at least 5 days) often unresponsive to antibiotics
- Changes in extremities (ie. Erythema, desquamation, edema)
- Bilateral Conjunctivitis
- Cervical Lymphadenopathy (usually unilateral)
- Changes in the oral cavity (ie. Strawberry tongue, bleeding)


I’m begging anybody and everybody reading this to SEND YOUR CHILD TO A PAEDATRICIAN IMMEDIATELY if you notice these signs. A simple GP/family doctor simply will not suffice.

You need to march down to a specialist.

In the conservative Asian culture, death and illness is often dealt in a hush-hush manner. Most of the time, it is considered taboo and avoided at all costs. It definitely isn’t easily to encourage accepting the last days or recognizing disease when the negative connotations have been so deeply entrenched in our Asian values.

In truth, we are all afraid of dying.

I guess there is never a brave front in the aspect of death. Suddenly, faced with our own humanity, the people that surround us become more difficult to pull away from. We start to feel the aches that morph into pain as our bodies shut down. And we may even start to reminisce about days of yonder and the deeds that have come to past.

The past haunts the present.

We fail to acknowledge the fact that the moment we enter this world, we are aware that the counter starts ticking. This life is never permanent.

We will all die someday.

Though some people die more easily then others. More often then not, it is in the end days that we remember our Maker. The premise of eternal life in an alternate location is often perhaps the only thing we can hold onto.

As strange as it sounds, I do not hanker after immortality. This notion of eternal life does not appeal to me. I find my heaven in everyday moments. The time I spend with my family, the time I share with my friends, the love that is abound suffices.

What good is there without trial and tribulation? It has been this life that has allowed me to recognize the goodness within the people in my life. And it is these people that have given me the strength to carry on.

I’m thankful for everything that has happened to make me what I am today. If I’m still young, I’d like to have the courage to battle illness. Should I be elderly, and settled much of my responsibilities, I’d like to have the courage to let go and die with dignity. I cannot imagine myself hooked up to a ventilator. I believe it would be psychologically too painful and financially too stressful for the people that matter most.

Hopefully, I’d be able to complete my tasks and leave no room for regrets. I’d like my last days to be joyous, where people celebrate the life that is having its curtain drawn to closure. It will be a moment where I can say to Him that I’m ready to move onto a different level, where ever and whatever it may be.

I want to donate every organ available for use, to offer others a chance to live. This shell should have some use even in death. It would be great to know that a part of me lives on, no matter what.

In the genes of my children, and past on for generations after. Perhaps they’d even inherit a little of my traits? Or in a stranger so he or she buys some time to live life as I have?

No one dies without leaving a mark. Without a doubt, their memory lives on forever.


This post is dedicated to everyone that I’ve crossed paths with. We may not know it, but each impacts my life in more ways then one. Time can dilute the intensity of the loss, but it will never erase the moments that we’ve shared.
And i'm rooting for Granny Lee and little Ryan.
I see the strength and courage aglow in their faces.
[ My everyday hereos ]