The Apple Of Your Eye

I have my preceptor back =)

But we also have Fats with us on our shift.

Some dirt on Fats :
She always complains about her massive frame. And searches the net (uneventfully), for some miracle slimming pill that will *poof* all her adipose tissue away. I tell you, she's blardy lazy. She never goes to buy her own food. How can one ever expect to lose weight if they don't even want to walk to the source?!

She expects everyone who’s anyone, to buy it for her. Even to the extent of telling you what particular part of the chicken she wants for the chicken rice. What drink she wants you to buy. And to queue up at the teller to help her (the Queen fat ass) top up her damned prepaid card.

I draw the line at buying food. Nothing more. No way in blue hell will I ever help you to top up your freaking prepaid card. She should just get a subscribed line like normal adults.

Today, she shared with us how the ambulance medic flirts with her...! Thus, instigating her to keep her distance away from this married man. My imagination just went into overdrive as she divulged the details of the saucy deeds.

Somehow it just didn’t quite match up. However, she said it with such conviction, I found myself questioning her sanity.

For gawd’s sake woman! (Slaps forehead) Your uniform looks as though it’s tightly stretched over a durian. I can see the cellulite bumps even over the cloth. Not forgetting the spotty skin riddled with eczema. Which man in their right mind will go ga-ga over that?!

Ok, maybe I underestimate you.

Maybe he prefers alternative chubby girls with equally huge egos. Or maybe i just admire your overly inflated self esteem.

Being self delusional can sometimes lead to bliss.

Fats goes on to tell me about her illicit affair with some guy and how she will not break up with her current beau. Haiyoh, the DRAMA.

Have I acquired an Aunt Agony face?!

Good grief.

On a lighter (pun fully intended) note, Angelica danced today! She’s so cute. Leni says she’s contacted my ‘shake leg’ syndrome. Angelica vibrates her lower limbs with such ferocity; I worry about her dislocating her joints.

And yes, the Gary Saga continues.

Engulfed by the blazing heat, I went around serving my afternoon meds. As I was checking and dishing out the meds, Room 38’s relatives decided to have a short conversation with me.

Nobody bothers to read the “do not disturb” warning emblazoned on my vest.

Then I noticed someone or something standing beside me. No prizes for guessing who or what is was. Yup. It was Gary. That lame bastard must have wanted to scare me because I tend to make Gogi jump (it’s a secret skill that Kristabel has inherited).

Karma chameleon.

Too bad. It didn’t work.

He showed off a bag of apples and asked me if I wanted one.

Free? Of course!

Gary : Aiye, you want an apple?
Me : Of course!

Me : You buy apples for what?
Gary : I just wanted to see if they were crunchy.

He proceeds to hand me one.

Me : Aiye, you very kiam siap leh. One only ah?! Like that how to give Kristabel?!

Gary : Ok lah, good things should come in pairs. I give you 2.

This is perhaps the first time we’ve had a conversation at a safe, audible level.

Then I plopped down to Krissy’s side to drag her to break. Fate of all fates! We bumped into Gary. I pointed to her excitedly, asking him to grab the chance to say hi to Kristabel. That man got the idea and waved excitedly, saying, “Hi Kris.”

Our poor girl was dumbfounded and just continued to wash her hands, making Gary shout louder.

HI KRIS!

She looks at me. I look at her. And we both burst out laughing.

Beyond control.

He calls you Kris? Wah.. So close liao lor! Hahahaa.. (claps hands)

PS – Gary, if you ever get the chance to read this, Kris(tabel) ate the apple with such relish. You should have seen her contented smirk.

By the way, the freaking apple was so blardy crunchy, I wondered if I would lose my teeth. Lucky for mankind, my genes are elite (pukes), thus, I was able to win the battle over the apple too.

Unable to sleep the night before, afraid that I might oversleep, I trotted lazily back to the ward this morning. For the first time in a long while, I managed to stride in. Unlike my usual sprint, where my legs are fighting against the sand of time (insert irritating Days of Our Lives theme song) to rush in before they draw the dreaded red line that demarcates being late.

Hur hur hur.

It was good to see Angelica again. She’s been moved to Room 39. I could have sworn her eyes widened when she saw me. Breaking into a smile, she quickly went on to complain about being hungry and how the other nurses have been ‘bullying’ her. Hahahaa.. She still clings on like a marsupial upon transfer.

I had to readjust my bearings to all the new patients. A few were readmitted during my absence. And the rest were new acquaintances I had to familiarize myself to. As usual, Monday mornings are busy. With changes. Transfers. Dressings.

I did three dressings today. A simple PICC and 2 massive ones. 1 of which was the size of a personal pan pizza. "Hey Boss, you want some pizza?" (me to my preceptor) Yes, the damn sacral wound was that huge. It used the vacuum method so I re-learnt something.

Another consisted of 14 separate wounds on 1 patient. Some of which were deep craters, cleverly exposing the tendons and bone beneath. It even came with purulent exudates that were frolicking merrily in the ‘wells’. It took me and my preceptor (simultaneously doing the dressing) 1 ½ hrs to complete.

Shit massive.

I don’t understand how people can allow the wounds to get so bad. If osteomyelitis doesn’t kill you, septicemia will. Given the patient’s current health condition and their underlying co-morbidities, the only thing we can do at this stage is to prolong the chances of the patient actually hitting the jackpot.

Room 22’s very cute. He read my name tag and called me “Sharon”. I corrected him and he just said, “Aiyah, my engerlish not very good.” But I told him the meaning of my name anyway.

And he ended up asking for me most of the morning.
Pressing the call bell just to tell me he peed.

Haiyoh.

Room 38’s family was also very funny. Her son insisted on giving me a packet of curry noodles. He practically stuffed the packet in my arms. So, without much of a choice, I had to accept.

And I only saw him for less then 30 min.

Room 21 had his physiotherapy today. I gave him a shout-out and thumbs up combo. And the feisty old fella mirrored me. Hahaha.

My morning flew by with all the NG feeds, bathing, dressings and whatnots.

My ward mates were happy to see me back. So was I. Sophia cried and jumped in jest to see me back. Indra gave me the eyeball. Phyu Phyu still asked me whether I was going to be transferred. Hahaha. And the sisters each came to me to tell me I was naughty.

What gives?!

I only wished that F4 was complete. Only Kristabel was around in the afternoon. Mokie had IT training. Snoopy was on a well deserved break.

And yes, the Gary saga blazes on.

In the morning, he shouted at me in the hallway again.

Gary : Good morning!
Me : Gooooood morning!
Gary : How are you?!
Me : Good!
Gary : Goood!
Me : Gooooooooood!!!

Aunt Gogi : Wah, Jerry’s your friend ah?

Me : Of course! And he’s GARY, not Jerry lah.
Gogi : Ah.. Hahahahaa.. (sheepishly) Orh… Gary ah.

I even got the opportunity to chat with SN Goh from Research. She said I had lots of energy, and that she enjoyed seeing me interact with the patients. And while we were having our little chit chat, kaypoh Gary decided to come over.

Gary : (To SN Goh) Can you believe she’s (my age)?!
(To me) Aiye.. you really (my age) ah!

Me : Yeah.. why?

Gary : I thought you just passed out wan leh!
Me : Duh. Yeah, I started nursing late mah.

Gary : Your this kind of face (my age) wan ah?!
Me : Then your this kind of face (his age) meh!

Gary : Hah!

Standing beside me, I noticed these :
- He’s tanned.
- He’s got nice shoes. Square toed ones, all black and shiny.
- He’s a neat dresser.
- He’s got beady eyes.
- He’s forever smiling.

Either I look funny or he’s loony. I seriously suspect it's the latter.

He informed me that many people told him he looks younger then he’s age. In turn, I announce that people still ask me for my IC. Ho Ho Ho.

Now beat that Babeh!

TARGET - LOCKED ON

For all those of you that have not been following the recent events in my life. Here’s a brief. Today marks the end of my holidays.

Bleah.

And just before I left the wards, I had lied to my ward mates that I would be transferring out to ward 63. It started out as a joke. A joke that I thought no one would ever believe. But it was made all the more believable when my preceptor joined in.

Why the hell are they so freaking gullible. And of all people, they chose to believe me. Heh. Maybe I can earn big bucks trying to peddle them magic stones? =)

So yeah. They think I’m leaving. Or have already left.

Sophia even cried when she heard the news.
Apparently, she feels we have a ‘connection’. Hmmmmm. Wokay.

As the days passed, the people there decided to get a little nosy and asked Nazeemah about my status. She cleared up the ‘misunderstanding’ STAT (immediately).

I’m going to be so dead cm (come morning).

Us, F4

My AL week! A glorious, whole 9 days of paid leave will soon crash to a sad, tragic end. Like a flower in bloom, alas, such beauty can only be fleeting.

Soon, Monday will overtake, and I will be forced to whisk myself back to the wards to work again. Do I really mind?

Not in the least bit.

Monday will only be a day away from Sharon Lee's return =)

Ross says that I was hibernating like a bear most of the week. Sleeping only at unearthly hours and waking near sunset. I watched DVDs until i felt my cornea sting. A definate hint that it was sufficient for the day.

I tried to limit my outings to the evenings to avoid the ridiculously oven-like weather. But, F4 are daylight folks. So I had to sweat it out for them. Heeheee…

On our first outing, we extended the invitation to the other ward mates. A kind of get-together session to help build bonds between colleagues, in hopes of closer ties that will reduce the back biting and bitching among ourselves. We decided to eat at Sakae Sushi, Marina Square. And yes, as usual, I ate as though I was possessed. We also headed down to the Esplanade to catch up on the latest gossips.

We also queued (10 min) for donuts at Donut Factory. It was my virgin try. On the whole, the donuts were nice, but i seriously would not queue 1-2hrs just for that. When I brought the donuts back home, my brother snapped it up like a ravenous crocodile. 1-2-and its gone! He loved them.

For the 2nd session, it was a private session, exclusive to only the F4 members. So we went to Chinatown because it would be most convenient for Snoopy. So while waiting for her to get off work, F4 minus 1, roamed Chinatown. Whiling our time away by hunting for… yes.. you’ve guessed right!

FOOD!

We had really good mango and pomelo dessert at the shop opposite Mac. At $3.50 a pop, it’s quite exp. But.. yes, it was worth it. Mokie had the peanut dessert. That was good too. Overall, with the air-con and great snacks, they can be sure I’ll return!

When Snoopy arrived, we went to Smith St for more makan. This time round, we loaded ourselves with char kuay teow, BBQ stingray, sambal kang kong, Da Dong’s famous har gao and Ah Balling!!!

Yuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmo..!!

After that potentially gastric rupturing meal, we went to escape the heat in a nearby Mac. We laughed so loud it made the people there evil eyeball us. Hehheheheee…

Yes. I think know I love us, F4.

They make me want to run back to work =)